Dating & Relationship Blog

February 19th, 2014 by Alicia Drewnicki

The Metrosexual Male – Is He Hot or Not?

metrosexual
If you’re dating a metrosexual male – don’t be surprised if he spends more time in the bathroom (and the beauty salon) than you do! He’s the guy with the perfectly arched eyebrows who will fight you for your hair straighteners and find it impossible to walk past a mirror without preening himself. He visits spas, loves a manicure and enjoys smothering himself in fake tan. Mr Metro isn’t afraid to wear pink, he carries a man bag, and he’ll have a shoe collection to rival yours. This is the guy who displays the typical characteristics of your gay best friend, without actually being gay.

The word metrosexual is a fusion of “metropolitan” and “heterosexual” and refers to a man who lives or works in the city and splashes his cash on expensive clothing, grooming, gym membership and beauty products. He’s an open-minded straight guy who’s in touch with his feminine side and isn’t afraid to show it.

After chatting with girlfriends about these perfectly preened pretty boys, we came up with a list of 10 metrosexual traits. Here’s the general consensus on whether we find these things hot or not.

1) Man Makeup
Don’t go there. Boy George and Marilyn Manson are no strangers to face paint but if we catch you stealing our bronzer or sporting a layer of ‘guy liner’ – it’s going to send us running in the opposite direction! There’s one exception for guys wearing eyeliner – Johnny Depp in Pirates of The Caribbean, that’s it.
If you’ve had a serious breakout, we’ll let you get away with a little concealer to cover your blemishes but don’t go any further than that. We want to feel like we’re dating a man, not a Drag Queen, so if you’re wearing more makeup than us, it’s time to grab the face wipes.

2) Hair Removal
Mixed opinions on this one. Us ladies don’t want to wake up next to a hairy gorilla, but at the same time, if a man is as smooth as silk, it’s going to make us feel uneasy. A man should be a man, so having a bit of body hair is natural. If you’re super hairy and feel self-conscious about it, then yes, do feel free to get rid of excess hair but don’t take it to the extreme. We don’t mind some gentle “Manscaping” such as waxing, trimming, shaving and plucking, but if you start getting laser treatment, electrolysis and threading to ensure you’re as hair-free as a lizard, you can be sure we’ll be crawling in the opposite direction!

3) Beauty Products
Admittedly, we all like a guy who displays high standards of personal hygiene. Yes, do the obvious things – shower regularly, brush your teeth, floss, use deodorant, shave, wear aftershave and trim your nails. It’s fine to moisturise and look after your skin, but when you start using multi-step anti-ageing beauty routines, painting and shaping your nails and you have a collection of skincare products that’s bigger than ours, you’ve gone too far.

4) Shaped Eyebrows
Feel free to get rid of the mono-brow or any random hairs by plucking, but once you’ve done that, stop, or a massacre of the eyebrows may occur. For guys who think waxing or threading is the answer, please, don’t do it. As a general rule – if your eyebrows are immaculately shaped and we can tell you’ve had them done professionally, it’s a turn off.

5) Low V-Neck T-Shirts
“No, no and no” were the first three responses to the question: “do you find low V-Neck T-Shirts attractive?” The lower they go – the more unattractive we find them, and so many guys consistently get this wrong. You may believe that you’re turning us on by exposing a pec but it’s quite the opposite. The only people you’re impressing are other men. If you’ve got a good body, we will have definitely already noticed, so please stop flashing the flesh.

6) Skinny Jeans
If your trousers are so tight that they leave nothing to the imagination and look like they have been spray-painted on, it’s time to buy a few sizes larger and bin those skinnies. A craze has taken over where trousers have become so tight that they look like “meggings” (man leggings) and that’s just not attractive. Us ladies agree that some guys can pull off the “cool indie boy musician” look but overall, these skin-tight wonders fall into the category of turn-off. If you’ve got chunky legs – skinny jeans aren’t going to be flattering, and if you’ve got sparrow-legs, these jeans are just going to make them look even skinnier, which isn’t good either. General consensus: avoid if possible.

7) Fake Tan
Yes tanned skin looks healthy and attractive, but if we come home and you’ve got latex gloves on and you’re slapping fake tan all over our cream carpet, we’re not going to be happy. Yes it’s acceptable for you to sunbathe on a beach or go for an occasional sunbed session at the gym but being a fake tan fantatic is a no-no.

8) Botox and Plastic Surgery
Don’t do it – plastic is not attractive. If we wanted a guy with a rubber face, we’d kiss a mannequin.
If you’re older, just remember, rather than making you look younger, having plastic surgery can often just make you look like you’ve had plastic surgery. If you find an expensive surgeon you might end up looking like a superstar – but there’s always the chance of you ending up looking like a waxwork statue. Is it really worth the risk? Guys generally age well, so be proud of your appearance and your natural good looks.

9) Highlights and Hairstyles
Metrosexuals often go to see a stylist instead of a barber so they can get preened and highlighted rather than having a simple trim. David Beckham may be able to pull it off but unless you’ve got an exceptional hairdresser and the looks of Becks, highlights on a guy rarely look good.

Go to the barber – get a classic cut, and use a simple product to style your hair at home. The highlighted, slick-back gelled, hair sprayed and straightened look is too much. We much prefer your hair to look soft and messy than for you to take hours to finish your look with a mass of products and styling tools. We should be able to touch your hair without you getting mad at us for messing it up.

10) Man Bags
Laptop bags, briefcases, backpacks or even messenger bags – we can accept all of these, but when a guy has a small brightly coloured man bag as a fashion accessory, we’re really not keen. One question comes to mind: if your phone and wallet is in your pocket, what are you keeping in the man bag? Please don’t say the cuticle cream.

Final Thought
The metrosexual man may look polished, but excessive male grooming is generally more of a turn off than a turn on. There’s nothing wrong with a man caring about his appearance but when he spends longer getting ready than a woman, then Houston, we have a problem. I’m not saying that what every woman wants is a dirty lumberjack who is a stranger to deodorant, hasn’t showered for a week and returns home to rest his muddy boots on the dining room table, but we just don’t want a modern man who has lost his sense of masculinity. When a guy becomes too fixated on his appearance, it’s a worry that we’re dating a narcissistic, vain and overdramatic man who has cares more about looks than anything else.

Life is all about balance – so yes guys, do have pride in your appearance. Everyone loves a man in a smart suit with a great haircut and a nice smelling aftershave. Just don’t take it too far and transform yourself into a fake-tanned, perfectly manicured, hair-free man who looks more like a boy. What we want is quite simple – a natural, manly man who looks after himself but isn’t preened to perfection.

 

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Alicia Drewnicki is a travel, fashion and lifestyle writer living in London. She's super interested in body language, exploring the world and writing about it all!

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