58 Best & Funny Chat-Up Lines That Actually Work

By: Rosie Valentine |

Online Dating

A good pickup line is hard to find, but the perfect ice breaker can work wonders. The goal of that chat-up line is to get the girl or the guy talking and laughing, and to help you stand out from the rest of the crowd. There are funny pickup lines and sincere pickup lines, romantic pick up lines and lame pick up lines. There are even pickup lines that don’t sound like pickup lines at all! For a pickup line to work, it needs to be the right line for the right time at the right place on the right person! Sound confusing? It doesn’t have to be! We’ve gathered the top 55 funny and romantic (and even sexy!) chat up lines for you to choose from when you see someone you absolutely need to talk to.

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Funny – Funny pick up lines are best reserved for the pub, when everyone has moved from sober to just past happy and the liquid confidence is flowing.  Keep in mind that funny pick-up lines can backfire quickly, so it’s always best to follow your line up with a friendly “juuuust kidding!” Here are our favorites:

The Top 25 Pick Up Lines (these are too AWESOME for the public):
Want the real winners? Or want to be prepared for the “pick up line ninjas”? You need to get your hands on these pure gold pick up lines today! Click here to get access!

26. Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say… “I’m not really this tall….I’m sitting on my wallet.”

27. This one uttered by Clark Gable in ‘Red Dust’ in 1932. “Mind if I get drink with you?”

28. “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.” …and along the same produce lines… “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber.”

29. “Is your name homework? ‘Cause I’m not doing you but I should be.”

30. “Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.”

31. “Do you have any raisins?” (No) “Well how about a date?”

32. “On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you tonight?”

33. “Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa Clause what I want for Christmas?”

34. “You’re hot. I’m ugly. Let’s make average babies.”

35. “Are you from Tennesse? Because you’re the only 10-I-see!”

36. “I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.”

37. “Girl, you must be a parking ticket…because you got FINE written all over you!”

38. “If you were a potato, you’d be a really nice potato.”

39. “Is your name wifi? Cuz I think I can feel a connection here.”

40. “Giant polar bear (What?) It’s an icebreaker. Hi, my name is….”

41. “Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?”

42. “Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend.”

43. “Life without you would be like a broken pencil…pointless.”

44.”You look like my first wife! (how many have you had?) None.”

45. “Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!”

Romantic – When delivering a romantic chat-up line, the cheesier the better! The goal is to make her or him laugh, smile and be flattered-not creep them out by proposing marriage! It’s best to use humor here as well as be 100% sincere. These romantic pick-up lines are a good place to start:

46. “Can you give me directions to your heart?”

47. “You’re so beautiful that you made me forget the rest of my pickup line.”

48. “Do you have a map? ‘Cause I just got lost in your eyes.”

49. “Somebody better call God, because he is missing an angel.”

50. “I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.”

51. “I’m trying to rearrange the alphabet so that U and I are together.”

52. “Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?”

53. “Your eyes are blue like the ocean, and I’m lost at sea.”

54. “So do you believe in love at first sight, or do you want me to walk by again?”

55. “Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you.”

56. “I was trying to have a guys’ night out and you just totally ruined it by being so cute.”

57. “Miss, I think you just dropped something…my heart.”

58. “I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.”

59. “I had to come over and see if your personality is as amazing as your smile.”

60. “Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happens once every 4 years, but I’d rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.”

61. “You must be in a wrong place – the Miss Universe contest is over there.”

62. “Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.”

Sexy –  With a sexy pick-up line, it’s all about the smooth delivery–and again, not being a total creep! Walking up to her and saying “Nice pair of legs. What time do they open?”might get a drink thrown in your face–we don’t recommend this! When trying to be sexy, don’t go overboard, and if she or he doesn’t seem interested, take the hint and walk away with your tail between your legs, this isn’t an invitation to keep trying.  Some sexy pick-up line inspiration:

63.”When I was born I had 2 choices: One was to have perfect memory and the other was to have a huge penis. Unfortunately I can’t remember which one I chose.”

64. “There’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. Clothes are 100% off!”

65. “Girl, are you sitting on that F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.”

66. “I wanna bag you like some groceries.”

67. “If I said you have a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?”

68. “Is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see me in your pants?”

69. “Your body is 70% water and I’m thirsty.”

70. “If you’re gonna regret this in the morning, we can sleep til the afternoon.”

71. “Hey baby, what’s your sign? Caution, Dangerous Curves ahead, Yield?”

But it’s not only the guys who throw down some sexy pick-up lines! Here are some of the best lines that women can use on men. Chances are, ladies, that he’ll be putty in your hands after you say any of these lines:

72. “I know why they call it a beaver, because I’m dying for some wood.”

73. “You look like a hard worker. I have an opening you can fill.”

74. “Do these feel real to you?”

75. “If I told you I worked for UPS, would you let me handle your package?”

Miscellaneous-pick-up lines for just about any situation, from walking the dog to going to church!

76. On the Road – You’re on the road. She’s gorgeous. You walk up to her, stop, and say, “I’m new in town. And I can see that I’m going to be lost without you. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

77. Dog Walking – She’s walking her Peke. You’re walking your pootch. You point to the dogs and say, “Did you hear those barks? They want to date! Can we arrange for them to meet?

78. Coffee Shop – You’ve been eyeing her for a while at the coffee shop.  She’s deeply engrossed in doing something on her laptop. You walk up to her and say, “Can I email you at lovelylady@myheart.com?”

79. Sincere lines work well with sincere girls. This one is sweet. “Hi, my name is Joe. I would love to meet you. Do you have a friend who can introduce me to you?”

80. For the Ladies – “Hi Handsome. I thought you might like to meet me so I came to introduce myself. I’m …..” How could he not want to meet you?

81. Challenging – Sometimes, she’s the most beautiful girl in the room, but she’s giving everybody a hard time (no, not that kind of hard time). Try something a little different, “You’re ugly but you intrigue me.” Yes, there may be an explosion, but she’s talking, isn’t she?

82. Biblical – Pick up lines even work in church. What’s simpler than, “Do you need help carrying your bible? It looks heavy.” Smile!

83. Online Dating- “Hey there! Your online dating profile caught my eye. I’d love to hear more about your backpacking trip is Asia/mountain biking hobby.” Since humor is hard to interpret in emails, it’s best to stay on the safe side and not be too funny online-at least at first!

Pick up lines should generally be said in a light tone of voice. And if the first one doesn’t work, ask her what type of pick up lines generally work for her. Then give her a big smile.  It’s only meant to break the ice and get you talking. Two sentences in? You’re talking! And remember– smiles are the best pick up lines ever.

The Top 25 Pick Up Lines (these are too AWESOME for the public):
Want the real winners? Or want to be prepared for the “pick up line ninjas”? You need to get your hands on these pure gold pick up lines today! Click here to get access!

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Try testing them out when online dating – you may be surprised how well they work! What is your go-to pick-up line? What is the worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard?

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