Seven Reasons Why I Hate Coffee Dates

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352882_9221Before my fiancé put a ring on it I was an avid online dater and that led me to going on all kinds of first dates. I’ve been to bars, restaurants, the parks, the movies, and so on. I’ve even just wandered around parts of Chicago and NYC. But there is one common date spot that I’ve found I just can’t get into. And that would be the coffee date. Here are seven reasons why.

The atmosphere

Honestly, coffee shops just feel weird for dates. Sure, if you’re in a big city like New York they tend to be a little more trendy and fun. But there’s always someone with a laptop typing a paper or reading or trying to concentrate or something. I need to be in a place where I can be myself. Where I can talk and laugh at all kinds of volumes and not have to worry about disturbing someone.

I like a little alcohol

I will be honest – I like to have a drink or two on dates; especially if it’s a first date. It just kind of calms your nerves a little. And drinking is something I enjoy doing with the person I am with so it’s a problem if someone never wants to drink.

They’re early in the day

Coffee dates kind of have that early afternoon feel. I like dates at night. I don’t know why this is. Nighttime just feels more date-like.

Or they just feel plain weird at night

I once went on a coffee date at night. Seriously, the only people there are students working on some kind of school work. It just didn’t feel like a date to me.

It’s hard to stay if you’re feeling it

Every time I am in a coffee shop, I feel like there is some dude waiting to plug in his laptop or I can’t find a seat because that same dude already found a place and plans on sticking around for 12 hours or so. Bars provide the kind of atmosphere where you can set up shop for a while if you choose. There’s also usually the option of food or some kind of entertainment that make it easy to suggest staying a little longer.

It’s too calm and quiet

I’m not saying you should go to some place loud (in fact, you shouldn’t), but I like to have some background noise so I don’t feel like we are the only ones talking. Or so I am not too worried about everyone else listening in on the conversation.

There’s no entertainment

I know, I know. Your date should be your entertainment and I totally agree with that. However, there’s something to be said about a friendly game of air hockey. It also creates awesome date conversation when a song comes on or you notice something on the TV. Coffee shops just don’t have that.

At the end of the date, I am not saying coffee dates are awful. I am just saying they don’t work for me. I also know that half of this stuff is probably just in my head and me worrying about crazy things that don’t really happen. But the best dates always happen when you’re comfortable so you should choose a place that makes you feel that way. And coffee dates just don’t do that for me.

How do you feel about coffee dates?

 

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Frequently asked questions

Why do some people hate coffee dates?
Some people dislike coffee dates because cafés can feel too quiet, calm or work-focused, making relaxed conversation and laughter harder. They may also prefer evening dates, a drink, background noise, food or entertainment, plus somewhere comfortable enough to stay longer when the date is going well.
Are coffee shops good for a first date?
Coffee dates can be a good choice if the setting makes you comfortable, but they do not suit everyone. The writer finds coffee shops awkward because of the quiet atmosphere, daytime feel, limited entertainment and pressure around seating. The best first-date setting is somewhere you can relax and be yourself.
What can I do instead of a coffee date?
Instead of a coffee date, you could meet at a bar, restaurant, park or cinema, or simply wander around an interesting part of a city. The article also favours places with background noise, food or entertainment, as these can create conversation and make it easier to extend a date that is going well.
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Every member on We Love Dates is manually checked against official government ID. This confirms that profiles belong to real people who are who they say they are. The one-time investment for verification is £1.99, creating an ID-verified community focused on genuine connections and relationships.
Is We Love Dates a genuine dating site?
Yes. We Love Dates is a genuine dating site where every member is ID-verified against official government ID, with no bots, fakes or catfishing. Established in 2010, it has had over 2 million members join and is designed for real, high-intent people seeking genuine relationships rather than casual encounters.
How can I stay safe when meeting someone from We Love Dates?
We Love Dates is for adults aged 18 and over. Its dating safety guidance says to meet in public first and tell someone where you are going. The page recommends taking these precautions even within an ID-verified community, so plan your first meeting around both steps before meeting another member in person.

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