The Pros and Cons of Dating an Older Man

By: Rosie Valentine |

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, Celine Dion and René Angélil, Hugh Heffner and Crystal Harris, Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster – the list of younger ladies who have married more mature guys is endless.

Is it love? In some cases, yes. In other cases…when she looks into his eyes, all she can see is the size of his…wallet. It’s not all about money though, as being old doesn’t always equate to being affluent. So why do women date guys who are much older? Sometimes we’re attracted to power, maturity or even worldly experience. If you’re thinking about dating an older man, here are the pros and cons you should consider:

The Pros

He’s More Mature
Just like a fine wine – men get better as they get older. They don’t need to hide behind makeup and they’re certainly not high maintenance. You get what you see and the ‘silver fox’ is certainly a ravishing mammal that appeals to the masses. Just look at George Clooney – he didn’t get married until he was 53, and hearts broke around the world when the news came out. Maturity means he’s experienced the world, he knows what he wants and most likely…he knows how to get it! He’s comfortable being a man and knows the right things to say and do to make a woman feel like a lady.

He’s More Experienced
In every way you can imagine – a plus point of dating an older man is that he’s had the life experience and knows what he’s doing. There will be no awkward, nervous encounters when you’re dating an older guy, instead, this will be a man who knows what he’s doing.

He Doesn’t Play Games
Forget the ‘three day rule’, the ‘ghosting’ and the ‘hot and cold treatment’ – the more mature man doesn’t need to play games. He knows how to get a woman he wants and which buttons to press. He doesn’t have to rely on the mask of technology to woo, instead he’ll just say it as it is.

He’s Not Scared of Commitment
If the older guy in question hasn’t been married several times, he’s probably been ‘sowing his wild oats’ for years and is probably ready to devote himself to one woman. A problem with guys in their 20s and 30s is they often see marriage as the end of their freedom and are reluctant to make that big step and commit. At least when you’re dating an older guy, you’ll know that the mention of commitment isn’t going to send him running in the opposite direction.

He’s More Aware of Chivalry
Chivalry isn’t dead – you’re just looking in the wrong places! Being an older guy means he’s got ‘old-school’ manners. What’s not to like? He’ll know how to make you feel special and he’ll know how a gentleman behaves.

He’s Distinguished
When a woman starts going grey, she quickly grabs the hair dye in fear of losing her youth. When a guy goes grey – he looks distinguished and sexy. Another pro of dating an older man is that he’ll have a presence that’s somewhat commanding. When he walks into a room, he’s confident and he’s immediately got the respect of those around him. This authoritative existence can be the height of allure.

You’ll Have Stimulating Conversation With Him
Fed up of talking about mundane topics that don’t go further than what was on the TV the previous night or what’s for dinner? Women love to talk and often find that with life experience comes more stimulating conversation. A mature man will tell you about his worldly pursuits, he’ll dazzle you with his knowledge of everything from art to fine wine and his love of the finer things in life. He’ll teach you new things and entertain you with his wit and intelligence.

He Knows What Women Want
Women are complicated and it can take a lifetime to understand us. At least older men have had longer to try! The chances are that your more refined partner will have a better idea on how to treat a woman and answer that age old question: “what do women want?” He’ll understand out mood swings, indecisiveness and our speaking in code. From his years of experience, at least he’ll have a better chance of understand how women operate.

The Cons

He’s Set in His Ways
The phrase ‘stubborn as a mule’ comes to mind. A disadvantage of dating an older guy is that he’s probably less flexible when it comes to change. He’s lived his life, he knows what he wants and he’s probably got habits that he isn’t willing to break out of.

He May Not Want The Same Type of Commitment
If you’ve found an older man who’s always been a bachelor and you’ve finally converted him – bingo! He’ll probably be open to the idea of settling down, but if he’s been married before, he might just want a companion.

The Risk of Him Acting Like A Father Figure
Belittling, criticising, giving you a curfew, treating you like a child, telling you what to wear, how to behave, patronising you…these are just some of the things you could face if you date an older man that takes on the role of ‘father figure’. He may not even realise he’s doing it, but perhaps the only communication he’s had with women your age are with his own children.

The ‘Been There, Done That’ Attitude
For you, it’s a fresh experience and a new adventure – but for him, he’s ‘seen it all before’. You might face an ‘excitement clash’ where one thing mesmerises you but he finds it unremarkable. Unfortunately this goes with the territory of a guy who has more life experience. Can you find activities that are fresh for both of you?

He May Not Be The Life and Soul
If you’re used to dating guys who are the life and soul of the party and a fan of wild nights out, then you may be disappointed. Mr Oldie may opt for the quiet night in more often than the crazy action-packed evening of bar-hopping. It depends what stage you’re at in your life and if you’re able to compromise. Don’t date an older man and expect him to have the energy of a 20 year old.

Clash in Interests
Yes you find each other physically attractive – but are there too many differences between you to make it work? A negative of such a big age gap is the fact you may just want different things out of life and be out of sync with your dreams and motivations.

Age Might Not Matter Now – But In 10 Years Time…
The frisky 50 year old may transform into the sluggish sixty year old before you know it. Everything will slow down and you may find yourself feeling more like a carer than a lover. If the age gap is significant, just be aware that the first couple of years will be exciting, but then you may find you’re at completely different stages in your life. You certainly won’t be growing old together if he’s already old.

Baggage Issues
With ages comes baggage – and this could be in the form of ex-wives, messy divorce settlements, children, step-children and elderly parents. There are a plethora of obstacles you could face if this guy has baggage. If he’s already got children, will he want any more? Will you get on with his current children or will they resent you? What’s the situation with his ex? These are all things you need to think about carefully.

So you’ve had the advantages and disadvantages – now it’s up to you to decide whether dating an older man is right for you. Have you bagged yourself an OAP with baggage and bad habits or have you found the ultimate smooth silver fox who knows how to treat you like his Goddess?
Take into consideration all the pros and cons, and if he treats you wonderfully and doesn’t make you change or expect you to act older than you are, then he’s a keeper.