Are You A Stage 5 Clinger?

Made famous by the movie Wedding Crashers, a stage 5 clinger is “a member of the opposite sex that is likely to become overly attached, overly fast. Virgins, those on the rebound, and the emotionally fragile are more likely to have this term applied to them.”

Sounds sexy, right? Wrong.

So how do you know if you’re a stage 5 clinger?

You’re a cyber stalker-do you find yourself constantly refreshing his or her facebook or twitter pages?  Do you check out all their friends photos and get jealous over things posted on their walls? Do you show up to the places they checked into on Foursquare?  If yes… might be a stalker.  Step away from the Internet, get some fresh air and stop being a creep!

You’re attached to your phone-if you find yourself hitting redial for hours upon hours  or calling them from blocked numbers so they can’t screen your call, you’re a clinger.  If you are constantly checking to see if they’ve contacted you, and become so obsessed with hearing from them that you can’t function, you’re definitely a clinger.  Remember-if someone wants to talk to you, they will. And nobody wants to talk to a psycho.

You’re a total guilt trip-if you try to guilt someone into spending time with you, or pull stunts so they will feel obligated to be a part of your life, you’re forcing them to be there-and that’s ultimately not what you want.   Don’t be a drama queen…you shouldn’t have to guilt anyone into being with you.

You embellish about our relationship, or lack of one-do you tell people you’re dating someone, when in reality he’s never spoken a word to you?  Pretending something is more than it is not only makes you look incredibly shady, but it’s a bit delusional and doesn’t do you any good in the long run.  Plus, you’re blowing your chances from the beginning if he finds out you’ve been spreading stories.  Let things develop-you can’t force anything, no matter how badly you want to.

7 responses to “Are You A Stage 5 Clinger?”

  1. Jane Morgan Avatar

    One might really be madly in love to be a stage 5 clinger.

  2. Jenny Miller Avatar

    If you are a stage 5 clinger, that would really be a big problem

  3. Rick Avatar

    I was out with my friends yesterday talking about a potential stage 5’er i met online. The first sign was when she started talking relationship on our first and only date. Then I ignored her for 2 weeks. Then she kept trying to make dates with me and I kept cancelling .. and then i got a text message on the weekend saying she was in my area .. OK, i live out in the country and she lives downtown . .there is no reason for her to be in my area other than stalking my life.

    1. Liz Avatar

      Yikes…definitely sounds like you have a stage 5-er on your hands…

  4. Devon Brown Avatar

    The items you mentioned don’t sound like a clinger to me, they seem more like a stalker. A clinger, to me, is someone who can’t get over a relationship emotionally. Or someone who wants to doesn’t take hints. The items mentioned here are beyond that. They border on criminal activity.

    Often times, I think a clinger situation occurs because the person is scared to communicate properly. Whether they don’t like confrontation or something else, the reason for the situation often falls on the clingee. Not everyone can read unspoken hints, so things have to be spelled out better for them.

    Just my thoughts…

    1. Liz Avatar

      Well, it depends on how far you take it…showing up at a bar where you know someone is can be both annoying, and scary if it’s something that happens everyday..this list was meant to be more on the “annoying” side 🙂

  5. adultdating Avatar

    at first its sweet, but after a week or more and a person’s not cooling down, heck you’re a big annoyance to the world. please save the earth!

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