How To Spot an Online Dating Player

By: Rosie Valentine |

In person, it’s fairly easy to spot a player.  The smooth operator at the club, the guy who has impeccable style and oozes confidence when he asks for your number…players generally abide by a certain m.o.  Online it’s a different story.  If you can’t see him, how can you tell if you’re being played?

He’s Always Online-Every time you log on, there he is! Middle of the night, early in the morning, all day during work hours… It could just be a coincidence, or he could be camping out online in an attempt to meet as many women as possible.  Online  players love attention, so why would they want to chat with one girl if they could be talking to six or seven? It’s all a numbers game to him, and he’s in it to win it!

He Writes Form Emails-Have you ever received an email that just seems too perfectly composed with 3-4 paragraphs listing his likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams?  The whole thing seems so fake…probably because it is.  He wrote it once, sent it hundreds of times. I received an email like this once and promptly shot off an annoyed “Wow, that was original” response.  The guy in question emailed me again and said he didn’t have time to write out personalized emails to girls online.  So, he was telling me I wasn’t worth a personalized email yet he still wanted my number?  No thanks…I’ll wait for a guy who can write an email to me, not to the masses.

His Profile Is Perfect-Perfectly witty, intelligent, with perfectly composed photos and a silly, yet charming headline.  Most guys I know have absolutely no clue what the hell to say in their online dating profile, so when I see a profile that is too perfect and contrived, I just have to raise a red flag.  No, a guy shouldn’t be punished for being well spoken and eloquent, but it begs the question-what is he trying to prove?

He Never Wants To Meet (In real life)-Getting an online player to step away from his macbook and hang out in the real world is next to impossible.  Why would he want to put himself out there, when he’s safe in his internet playin bubble.  It all goes back to attention-players crave it, and if he can get it from the comfort of his own home, he’s not going to meet you.  Plus, he’s not in it for a real life connection or relationship.  He just needs a little ego boost, and he’s perfectly ok with keeping it virtual.

He Comes on Too Strong-Flirting is fun, but if a guy seems like he’s telling you what you want to hear in order to get something from you, well…he probably is! Too much, too soon is a huge indication that he isn’t being genuine-he knows what to say and how to say it, because his lines have worked on multiple women before you. He expects you to respond a certain way (flattered and falling for him), that he barely has to put any effort into his sweet text messages or witty emails. Well, not this time!