15 Tips to Stop Monotony in a Relationship
By: Rosie Valentine |
When you’ve been with someone for a long time, it’s easy to fall into a relationship rut. You find yourself desperately not wanting to be bored, but wondering where that buzz and excitement has disappeared to. Fear not, as this can easily be fixed. Here are fifteen ideas to put that spark back into your relationship.
1) Have a “date night” every week
Keep an evening free once a week for a “date night”. It’ll be something you look forward to and it doesn’t matter if you’re staying in to watch a movie or going out to a nice restaurant, just making the time for each other is the most important thing.
2) Have separate nights out with your friends
Don’t forget about your friends – just because you’re in a relationship, nothing should change from before, so make sure you’re both still doing things separately with your friends and you’re not joined at the hip.
3) Snap out of the routine
Predictability is a passion killer. If life has become so predictable that you know exactly what each day is going to be like as soon as you wake up, then it’s time to snap out of the routine, start mixing things up and doing new things. Don’t get lazy when you’re together – instead keep planning fun things to do!
4) Do a new activity together
Get out of the house and do something new together! How about going to a Thai cookery class together or learning a new sport or skill? This will give you something to look forward to and bring new hobbies and interests into your life.
5) Plan a trip away
Everyone loves a trip away – it’s fresh territory, you can count the days until you go and it’s hard to beat that excitement of discovering a new place. Don’t dismiss trips just because you think they’re going to be expensive. It can be very cheap if you book in advance and look out for deals. Don’t immediately assume you need to go somewhere far away and exotic, look around you and you’ll find beauty very close by.
6) Don’t underestimate the power of surprise
When was the last time you surprised your other half with a gift or you said “let’s not cook – we’ll go out to eat…” Surprise your partner with things they like and enjoy making each other happy.
7) Have a technology free night
Phone, TV, laptop, tablet…how many of these devices are you glued to each evening? Technology has taken over! Whether we’re on social networking sites or glued to a TV series, we probably spend more time interacting through technology than we do having real-life human interaction each day. Have a technology ban one night and spend time simply enjoying each others company.
8) Create a list of random fun things you’d like to do as a couple
Are there new restaurants and bars you want to go to but you’ve never got round to it? Maybe you want to go ice skating or bowling for a change or there’s a live music night you’d like to go to? Create a list of random things you’d like to do, keep them in a pot and draw out one every week. Guaranteed to keep the excitement alive!
9) Spend time apart
You both need space, and distance can actually help a relationship flourish. Just because you’re a couple, it doesn’t mean you need to keep every minute of spare time reserved for each other. Have some time apart, visit your family and friends and have separate lives too.
10) Keep some mystery and don’t get too comfortable
If you find yourself slobbing around in your jogging bottoms, forgetting to make the effort and leaving the bathroom door open when you’re in there – STOP. You may have been together for a long time, but it’s important to keep some mystery and not be TOO comfortable. Think back to the early days and if you would have behaved like this. This isn’t to say you can’t relax and chill out, just get the balance right and still make the effort for your partner.
11) Stop doing the things that you know annoy your partner
Does your partner go crazy when you leave wet towels on the floor or don’t do the washing up? If there are certain things that seriously make your other half go mad, stop doing them. You know that stopping is a sure-fire way to make your partner happy and not add fuel to the fire!
12) Do something outdoors together
How often do you spend a weekend cooped up indoors on the sofa? Boost your vitamin D levels and spend some time in the sunshine – go for a picnic the park, go for a run or bike ride together, enjoy life and appreciate the natural beauty around you! There’s so much to see and do and it’s right on your doorstep…
13) Do something you know your partner loves
Perhaps your partner is crazy about Italian food? Why not surprise him/her one night and have an Italian feast on the table when they come home from work? Maybe they’re really into jazz music – so why not plan a night at a jazz bar? Showing an active interest in your partner’s own interests will go a long way, and really make your other half feel appreciated.
14) Don’t forget the compliments
When we’re comfortable with someone, we can forget to say those nice little things that would give each other butterflies in the early days. Make the effort to say nice things and compliment your partner every day to show how much they mean to you.
15) Be spontaneous!
Bring spontaneity into your life every day! Go to new places, do new things, go somewhere you wouldn’t usually go, buy something completely indulgent you’d never usually buy, stay up late on a weeknight – just be spontaneous, plan fun, new experiences and enjoy life.
So there you have it – fifteen great ways to spice up your relationship and get rid of the monotony. Time shouldn’t kill the excitement, so follow these tips and put the fun back into your relationship.