Although I’m trying to become better at being direct when it comes to dating & communication, sometimes I will still say one thing but mean another. Whether it’s because I’m feeling shy about revealing my feelings, or because I’m trying to spare someone else’s – I know I’m not the only woman who does this from time to time. I’m sure this is super confusing to men when we do this- in fact, I know it is. I can’t speak for all women, however in hopes of helping bridge the communication gap between the sexes, here’s a list of common things women often say and what often really means.
“Here, I’ll take your number and call you. Or better, yet – here’s my email”
What this means: If I’m more interested in taking down your number than giving up mine, if usually means that I have no intention of calling you ever and am just trying to be polite. Recently I ran into a guy I had gone on a date with before Christmas. Our date was fine however, I knew that there wasn’t any chemistry there so it didn’t go any further. When I bumped into him on the street, he suggested we exchange numbers. I took down his number solely so I’d be able to screen his calls if he ever called me. On the flip side, if I give you my email it could mean that I find you intriguing, but want to get to know you a bit better (i.e. I want to see if you can string a sentence together) before I commit to giving you my digits. You’ll know this is the case if I write back to you. If I don’t, it means I was trying to be polite while blowing you off.
“Oh I’m sorry, I already have plans”
What this means: I know for a lot of ladies, this can mean “You’re asking me out on short notice and I don’t want to look like a loser who doesn’t have anything to do on a Saturday night, so I’m going to say I’m busy even when I’m not” however, in my case, if I say I’m busy it’s because I’m actually busy – whether that means I’m hanging out with friends, family or going on another date, when I tell you that I’m busy I’m telling the truth. Trust me, if I’m into you I want to see you.
“I need space, I have a lot going on right now”
What this means: Even when I’m super busy, if I like someone I’ll make time to see them. If I tell you I need space, it’s likely because I’m not sure about you and therefore, need space to figure this out. It could also mean that I think you’re nice, but I’m not feeling it and want to let you down easy. It could also mean that you’re smothering me and I literally need you to go away. Or, it could be a combination of all three.
“I love the way you smell”
What this really means: I’m ridiculously attracted to you. Pheromones – those invisible love chemicals that lead to sexual attraction – are very, very powerful. If I love the way you smell, it’s likely that’s not the only thing about you that I’m smitten by.
What do you guys think?