October 31st, 2011 by Elizabeth Marie

How To Act On a First Date

Easy. Act like you don’t care if there is a second date or not.

No, I don’t mean you should go out of your way to make a horrible impression, or act like a disgusting human being.  But all too often people go on first dates, and get so overly excited at the prospect of it being their “last first date” and become intent on securing a second date, and a third…and deleting their online dating profile.  The first date isn’t just an opportunity to get to know someone offline, it’s become a means to an end…and it’s unattractive.

You can smell desperation.  Ok, maybe not smell it, but definitely sense it, right?   I was on a first date once, with a seemingly sweet guy from Ok Cupid, and he kept mentioning things we should do way in the future. “I can’t wait to take you skiing!” It was the middle of a hot summer-there wasn’t going to be snow for months.  I realized that he wasn’t enamored with me, necessarily…he was enamored with the prospect of being in a relationship.

Back to the question at hand.  I don’t think I need to tell you how to behave on a first date-be polite, engaging, keep it light and interesting.  There, I just did!  But that’s nothing new.  Instead of spending the evening worrying about what he or she thinks of you, consider for a minute what you think of them.

Keep your guard up.  Ask the questions that are important to you.  Don’t share your secrets, your life story, all your hopes and dreams.  Think of the first date as an interview.  If he’s worth it, and you genuinely like him, there will be plenty of opportunities to tell him every detail about your life.  Yes, you might feel a connection, and it really could be the last first date you ever go on, but there is nothing wrong with taking it slow and not getting caught up in what you wish was happening, versus what is actually happening. Take the pressure off the situation, and relax.

Don’t let the excitement of being on a date cloud your judgement.  It’s easy to fall in love with love, but it’s even better when you actually fall in love.

 

Liz

Liz is We Love Dates social media manager. A former marketing account executive in the fashion industry, a bad breakup spurred Liz to start her first blog 5 years ago and she has been happily over-sharing with anyone who will read ever since. Obsessed with all things dating, love and tech, Liz has been referred to as the brunette Carrie Bradshaw on more than one occasion. If it's a day that ends in "Y", most likely you will find Liz furiously typing away on her laptop with a huge espresso nearby. Or two. Follow her every thought on Twitter and Google+.

2 Responses to “How To Act On a First Date”

  1. October 31, 2011 at 6:37 am, Jenia said:

    True that first date fills a fresh energy and excitement in all of us.But, how much we try, there will be tension and anxiety as to how the date will turn out to be. So, it is better to be cool and take the situation as it comes.

  2. October 31, 2011 at 12:51 pm, Lucas said:

    I have to agree with the “Act like you don’t care if there is a second date or not” part. Too many people put too much pressure on themselves by trying to make the first date “special”. It really comes over as desperate and the other person can feel it.

    Don’t talk TOO MUCH about yourself and try to make the date as fun as possible.

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