How To Act On a First Date

Easy. Act like you don’t care if there is a second date or not.

No, I don’t mean you should go out of your way to make a horrible impression, or act like a disgusting human being.  But all too often people go on first dates, and get so overly excited at the prospect of it being their “last first date” and become intent on securing a second date, and a third…and deleting their online dating profile.  The first date isn’t just an opportunity to get to know someone offline, it’s become a means to an end…and it’s unattractive.

You can smell desperation.  Ok, maybe not smell it, but definitely sense it, right?   I was on a first date once, with a seemingly sweet guy from Ok Cupid, and he kept mentioning things we should do way in the future. “I can’t wait to take you skiing!” It was the middle of a hot summer-there wasn’t going to be snow for months.  I realized that he wasn’t enamored with me, necessarily…he was enamored with the prospect of being in a relationship.

Back to the question at hand.  I don’t think I need to tell you how to behave on a first date-be polite, engaging, keep it light and interesting.  There, I just did!  But that’s nothing new.  Instead of spending the evening worrying about what he or she thinks of you, consider for a minute what you think of them.

Keep your guard up.  Ask the questions that are important to you.  Don’t share your secrets, your life story, all your hopes and dreams.  Think of the first date as an interview.  If he’s worth it, and you genuinely like him, there will be plenty of opportunities to tell him every detail about your life.  Yes, you might feel a connection, and it really could be the last first date you ever go on, but there is nothing wrong with taking it slow and not getting caught up in what you wish was happening, versus what is actually happening. Take the pressure off the situation, and relax.

Don’t let the excitement of being on a date cloud your judgement.  It’s easy to fall in love with love, but it’s even better when you actually fall in love.


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