Want To Know What Your Man’s Text Means? There’s a Website for That

By: Jess Downey |

A couple of years ago, when I was a single lady and a dating blogger, I wrote about website called Hetexted.com. I’m not going to lie — I was pretty mortified when I discovered it. I mean, it was entertaining, but a whole website devoted to analyzing texts from guys? I can’t even.

I didn’t really think it would stick around that long, but was proved wrong a few weeks ago when a friend sent me the link to check out a website she stumbled on. It was Hetexted.com. Seriously. It still exists. And, there is even a book, inspired by the website, that’s devoted to the same thing. I still can’t even.

Now, I haven’t read the book, but I did read some reviews and most people found it entertaining or tragic. But, like I said, I haven’t read it so I can’t go there (though perhaps that will inspire a future post).

So, let’s just talk about the website for now.  And rather than trying to describe what I read, let me just let the actual questions speak for themselves. Here are the first three that I read:

My fire fighter instructor. Unsolicited shirtless pics and one more of him with his junk hard leaning over a toilet! I don’t know what’s sexier than seeing naked pics you didn’t ask for from your instructor in a bathroom. Sigh

He’s done this more than once and I’ve never responded. Does he just not get it? Why keep trying?


He text “Thinking of you as I fall asleep. Then I realize it’s a group text and it’s not the fact that he text other girls which is fine because were not exclusive or even on that level, but i do fault him for his stupidity and laziness.

Should I reply that I know that he group text me or just keep ignoring his messages.


Is it normal for a married guy to text you every 2-3 days or more frequent to ask you things like:

– am I eating dinner alone

– am I taking the metro home alone (note that he has driven me

home before)

– whether I’ve packed for my holiday the night before my flight

It’s like that episode of How I Met Your Mother — oh honey. I mean, I want to believe we’re all better than this, right? Do we really need a website to decode the secret meanings here?

If dude is sending unsolicited naked pics, you run! Or you report it to someone. If you like it, you send one back (just leave your face out). Regardless, you do not post it on a site to ask what it means.

And if a guy is group texting females, you also run! Feel flattered for a moment that you were one of the chosen few, but then delete and move on. Also, to the guy who’s group texting females – have you ever heard of copy and paste? It’s this pretty genius invention that you should look into. It would probably prevent you from personally sabotaging your whole game.

I also won’t even touch the married guy who’s texting you, but I bet you can guess my verdict there.

Seriously folks, this isn’t rocket science here.

Honestly, the website just fuels our need to over analyze things and our desire for instant gratification. No one wants to just wait it out and see if a guy is into you. Because, you know, you’ll eventually find out.

Side note: can we all just talk about how there isn’t a shetexted.com. Just something to think about for a minute.

So, no thanks HeTexted.com, but I will pass. To me, this still feels like one of those ideas that’s really brilliant when you’re drunk with you friends, but then not so much when you sober up.

Image via Ultraslo1 on Flickr.