11 Love Lessons I Learnt From My Mum
By: Alicia Drewnicki |
“Your mother is always right” is a phrase that many of us reject when we’re growing up. We refuse to listen, but eventually we all come to appreciate our own mother’s wisdom. Having been happily married to my Dad for 37 years, my Mum is quite the expert when it comes to relationship advice. So to celebrate Mother’s Day in the UK, here are 11 important love lessons I have learnt from my Mum.
1) You’ll Know When You Meet the Right Person
If you meet someone and it’s a struggle, for example one person is making all the effort in the relationship, then it’s not right. An ideal relationship should be balanced and will fall into place easily without you having to force it to happen. Your gut feeling will tell you if someone is right for you.
2) Don’t Date Someone Who is Rude to the People around Him
If a man is rude to the people around him (restaurant staff, his family, the people he works with), ditch him. Once you get to know him, that is how he will eventually speak to you.
3) Don’t Date Someone Who is Too Young
Men generally mature at a slower rate than girls, so if someone is considerably younger, then the chances are that you’ll be more mature than him and you’ll be looking for different things in life. When you’re ready to settle down, he will probably still want to “play the field” and “sow his wild oats,” so to speak.
4) Don’t Date Someone Who is Too Old
A man who is a bit older than you is fine, but anyone who is a generation or more older is a no-go as you’re likely to be at completely different stages in your life. He will have experienced more than you and there may be a power battle in the relationship. You want a relationship where you can grow old together at the same pace, not be with someone who is already old, who you have to slow down for.
5) Don’t Just Go for Looks
Remember that looks aren’t everything – you don’t want someone who is a Narcissist and spends more time in the bathroom than you do. Physical attraction is important but chemistry and having a spark between you is what’s going to keep you together.
6) The Right Man Will Respond to Four Simple Words – “I Need Your Help.”
If you say to a man “I need your help” and his answer is “when and how?” you know he’s a keeper.
7) Date Someone Who Is Your Intellectual Equal
If you date someone of inferior or superior intelligence, you will have nothing to talk about and in time, life will become very tedious.
8) Don’t Date Anyone Who Is Tight with Money
Generosity is a wonderful trait, so if you’re dating someone who is a bit of a Scrooge and doesn’t like to share, it’s a bad sign from the start.
9) Don’t Be Scared of a Long Distance Relationship
You shouldn’t be put off the idea of having a long distance relationship, because there are always ways to make it work. If there’s distance between you, then the romance stage of the relationship lasts much longer, as when you do see each other, it always feels like honeymoon time. You’ll have to make a special effort to meet up, so you’ll cherish that time together more.
10) Trust Your Friends’ and Family’s Opinion
If everyone around you is telling you that the person you’re with isn’t suitable for you, stop making excuses and instead, step back and look at the situation, because you might be missing something that everyone else can see. It’s easy to be blinded by love!
11) For a Happy and Healthy Relationship – You Must Both Still Be Independent
Just because you’re together, it doesn’t mean anything needs to change (i.e. going out with your friends, spending time pursuing your own hobbies and interests). When you get in a relationship, if you were a social butterfly before, it doesn’t mean that overnight you have to change. You should still be living independent lives that are enriched by your relationship and love for that other person.
So next time you’re doubting your Mum, just remember she has more life experience than you and will have already been through many of the life situations you’re going through now. When your Mum tells you a guy isn’t right for you, listen to her advice as she’s very likely to be right. It’s best to take your time and love will find you when you’re ready.