How Overthinking Kills Your Dating Game

February 20th, 2014 by Len Cruz

How Overthinking Kills Your Dating Game

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The mind is such a beautiful organ and creates wonders; but sometimes, it just won’t shut up! Sometimes, our brain is our worst enemy. It can become toxic to our happiness and prevent us from finding the kind of relationship we truly deserve.

Overthinking spawns a worrywart

You have so many ‘what if’ scenarios attacking your mind that you forget about the ‘could be’. We can only control a future situation to a certain degree; the rest is a leap of faith. That’s what life is. Plain and simple. If you have prepared yourself enough for certain eventualities, then trust that the “dots will somehow connect” and give you a good outcome.

Overthinking creates an inception of problem

A problem, within a problem, within a problem. Soon enough, you’ll be lost in a mountain of unnecessary problems that gives you too much anxiety to function properly. The worst thing about it is that they are not even real problems. You just made them all out because you think too much.

Overthinking deprives you of joy

Before you go out on a date, you’ve already come up with tons of negative scenarios spanning from tripping down the stairs to him not calling you the very next day. By the time you meet your date, gloominess becomes evident in your aura making you a great big bore. Guess what happens next? He won’t call you for a second date. Can you blame him? Unless he’s Maury Povich, no one wants to deal with someone who appears to have the weight of the world sitting on her shoulders the whole time.

Overthinking makes you lose focus

A cluttered mind will make you deviate from what is essential. Your aim is to have a long term relationship full of love and respect, right? Since you over think, your main goal branches out to different small goals and concerns making your initial objective a blur. Eventually, you lose sight of that and end up settling for less. Eyes on your target, people! List down purposeful ways in achieving your goal and stick to them.

Overthinking makes life difficult

The world will be such a harmonious place if only we know how to truly simply our lives. Dating rules are simply guidelines and nothing more. If they were concrete and works down to a tee, they would have been turned into a law a long time ago. Do not fixate on what works for others or what you need to follow to make things right. Dating should be fun! Go with the flow and let things develop naturally.

Overthinking makes you stupid

You practiced so many witty responses before your big date so as not to be caught off guard when he says something. You even managed to print out twelve pages of possible conversation for your first date. Here comes fate mocking you: the first thing he asks when he sees you is not written on your cheat sheet. Your brain suddenly shuts down completely leaving him dumbfounded and confused. When you over complicate things, you perform far less of what you are capable of. You become so fearful that you begin to doubt yourself each and every time. It cripples the superstar you have within, and that’s really sad.

We cannot control the cards we are dealt with all the time. We can, however, soften the blow and hope for the best. The beauty of life lies on lack of certainty. It makes anything possible – from being a billionaire at 85 to making George Clooney your love slave a few days from now.

Len

Len is the delusional brains behind the lifestyle, parenting, and fashion site: www.themommist.com. She believes that words are meaningless unless they are used for the good kind of change.

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