The Art Of Dating Small Talk.
By: Elizabeth Marie |
I have come to the conclusion that I suck at small talk. I felt bad about this realization for about 2.5 seconds-and then I realized…small talk sucks. It is a necessary evil though, and something I can’t escape when online dating, just like I can’t escape emails from pervs asking for naked pictures. Here is how I deal.
I try not to ask the same boring questions over and over. Try, being the operative word. When I’m emailing someone online, I make sure I’ve read their profile in it’s entirety first. Hopefully they have provided some basic information that will spare us both the standard “What do you do for a living?” question. When reading a profile, I am looking for potential conversation starters that go beyond basic, boring, mind numbing small talk.
Good conversation also involves active listening. When engaging in first date small talk, it’s important to LISTEN. Not only is it polite, but your date might say something that will spark a funny story, or a question, or something to take the conversation from small talk to the next level. Conversation is all about throwing the ball back, so to speak-and that is next to impossible if you aren’t paying attention. If your date is horribly boring-fake it. 🙂
Ask random, weird, inappropriate or shocking questions-with in reason, of course. The best first date from online I have ever had left us both saying, “I can’t believe we’re talking about this!” on the first date. We didn’t stay in safe territory. We pushed the limits, tastefully-and had one of the best conversations ever. We had fun, and isn’t that what it’s all about anyway?
So tell that funny story, or ask that out of the blue question. Be yourself, and let your dazzling personality shine through. Hopefully you’ll walk away from this date wanting to know more, ask more, spend more time together, and soon you won’t have to think about what to talk about and small talk will be a thing of the past. Here’s hoping 🙂