Tell Me What You Want. What you REALLY, Really Want.
By: Elizabeth Marie |
On any online dating profile, you’ll be asked to fill in a few standard questions, no matter what the site. Height, weight, profession…and…what are you looking for? Dating, friendship, long-term, or “nothing serious”? Seems fairly easy, right? State your purpose! Done and done-or not so much. I can’t tell you how many times I get messages from guys who’s profile says they are looking for “nothing serious”, while mine clearly states I am on the hunt for something long-term. Now, one isn’t better than the other-but what’s the point of messaging someone who isn’t looking for the same thing? I automatically delete these messages, and here’s why.
When someone tells you (Who they are, what they want, etc, etc) BELIEVE THEM. Believe. Them.
This is a life lesson I have had to learn the hard way, multiple times. It sucks when I see a profile and the guy looks PERFECT. Attractive in photos at least, correct grammar and spelling, witty jokes, and likes sushi and wine…and then I scroll down and see that he is not looking for what I am seeking. If a man or woman is going to take the time to fill out an online dating profile thoroughly, I should believe him when he says he is just looking for a text/sex/email buddy.
But, I’m not. I want to meet someone online, to hug offline. I want way more than virtual communication, and I am all about something serious. So while he might look PERFECT, I won’t write him back. It comes down to managing expectations, and not starting off from the jump wanting to change someone. Of course. OF COURSE I will think-well maybe we’ll talk, and then meet, and he’ll fall head over heels in love with me and realize that he really wants more than friendship-sex-etc buddy-email trails and we’ll live happily ever after.
And then I snap out of it, and choose instead to save my emotions, my time, and my witty email responses for a guy who’s profile is more in line with mine. Someone who I don’t want to change, even before I’ve met him.
What do you guys think? Do you respond to emails from people seeking something you aren’t?