Men Not To Date In New York City

By: Elizabeth Marie |

A few weeks ago, we discussed the types of guys in Los Angeles you should avoid dating at all costs. When one of my favorite writers, Rachel Russo, offered to share her take on an NYC version, I jumped at the chance! Here she is, sharing the types of guys to avoid dating in New York City.
One thing is for sure: Lots of people love New York. Proud to call this “concrete jungle where dreams are made of” my home, I will give it to you straight like any real New Yorker would. The truth is that most single women here have a better chance of having a long-term romantic relationship with the city than with a man.

When I started my career as a NYC matchmaker back in 2005, I quickly learned that dating in The Big Apple is no walk through the park. When I completed my 92-dates-in-one-year-reality-date-a-thon as Ms. NY of, I more fully realized that New Yorkers have a hard time forming successful, long term relationships.

Whether you are looking for your next boyfriend or your future hubby, it’s important to know who not to date. Here are the guys who you should pass on by faster than a NY minute.

The Workaholic

Without a doubt, NYC attracts some of the brightest and best professionals in just about every industry. A city girl is surrounded by all kinds of accomplished men. There are men with entrepreneurial bent. There are men climbing the corporate ladder. There are men doing a balancing act between both. There are men-a lot of men-in finance. The thing many of these men have in common is the fact that they are bonafide workaholics. Let’s be honest: NYC is not cheap. Many city men work super long days-even on weekends-just to pay their rent, live their lifestyle, and gain the competitive edge in their industry. Uber-focused on work, they are more likely to check emails on a date than check out another girl. Either way, you’ll always come in second place.

The Starving Artist

One guy who may be arguably worse than the workaholic is the starving artist. At least the workaholic has money, right? Men who are so in love with their art often can’t be so in love…with you. These creative, day-dreaming types tend to get caught up in finding their life purpose—not to mention a way to pay their rent. Or should I say split the rent? Because they usually live in Brooklyn with four roommates. And no matter what they say, the commute on the L train really isn’t that cool. As if the lack of privacy and distance wasn’t enough to cramp your potential relationship, these guys are often scattered, as they are running back and forth between auditions and their restaurant gig. The actors can never commit to plans, because they are always waiting for call backs. The musicians can never commit you, because they always have skanky groupies who are willing to, umm, you know, in the bathroom of some gross dive bar. Did I mention they are narcissistic?

The Player

Many of the NYC men that work hard play hard to—with multiple partners. Thanks to their disposable incomes and the ease of meeting women on online dating sites and at bars, these men become serial daters. They go out with women and take them home nearly every night of the week. A lot of times employees are out “entertaining” clients at strip clubs and nightclubs—on the company’s black card. In some industries (ahem finance) good looking, successful, men who have girlfriends and even wives and children regularly hook up with other women. Don’t be fooled: In NYC, even the ugly and broke ones cheat! Maybe there is something in the water? The players are the guys who think the grass is always greener. They never let a relationship progress with one girl, because they are always keeping the next one on ice. Awful.

Want more advice on who not to date? Tips on who you should date? Check out the site of Rachel Russo, NYC-based Matchmaker, Dating, Relationship, & Image Coach at

image via Matteo Visentini on Flickr