Jill Filipovic: The Moral Case for Sex Before Marriage

By: Jenn |

In the United States, abstinence only sex-education has been the status quo for decades. Our society teaches students in health class that the only way to not get pregnant or contract STDs is through abstinence and educates them in church that sex is to be reserved for marriage only. These overwhelming societal pressures contradict the things we see on tv and in movies, and often result in confusing messages and the stigma of promiscuity.

But! Author Jill Filipovic has recently made the case in favor of premarital sex! Her article appears over at the Guardian if you’d like to read it in full, but here are my favorite points that she makes.

1. 95% of Americans do not wait until their wedding night to have sex. So where is the stigma coming from? People who engaged in premarital sex at one time in their lives must now be the ones shaming others for doing the same.

2. Sex makes you more happy than money. Having good sex once a week instead of once a month is the happiness equivalent of an extra $50,000 in the bank. Both of those things sound amazing, but if I had to choose between good sex on the regular and an extra $50k, I’d choose the sex every time. It’s way easier to find more money.

3. Feminist values lead to the most stable marriages. I personally love this point, because of what the term feminist values stands for: gender-egalitarian beliefs, shared household duties, and financial independence. Also, usually premarital sex.

4. Marriage is not a way to protect against the harmful side of sex. Being married does not insulate anyone against being manipulated, abused, or ignored by their partner. All of the risks that come with premarital sex are still relevant with marital sex, and as Filipovic notes, “Sexual morality isn’t about how long you wait. It’s about how you treat yourself and the people you’re with.”

5. Not everyone is going to get married and not everyone is legally able to get married. Where do those people fall? Are they doomed to a life of abstinence? Doesn’t seem fair.

Filipovic made plenty more excellent points in favor of premarital sex – I encourage you to read the article and come back here and share your thoughts!