5 Tips for an Over 50 First Date
By: Elizabeth Marie |
Dating can be an unnerving experience at any age, but over 50 datingcan present a unique set of challenges. “You have a 50-year-old body with a 20-year-old headset,” says Judith Sills, a clinical psychologist.
“You are anxious and giggling the way you were when you were 19. You feel like you have dialed the clock back.”
To help you out on that first date, here are 5 tips.
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Look up an old friend. Remember the guy you dated in college for two years and lost touch with? Do you still think about the beautiful girl your traveled around Europe with for a month? If you remember someone fondly from your past, it could be worth looking him or her up online. Try Googling their name, contacting college or high school alumni offices, or even an old-fashioned phone book.
Keep it light. Don’t turn a first date into a job interview. Go into the meeting with the intention of having a good time. “Let go of the goal-oriented dating of finding a soul mate,” advises Gray. “You want to lower your expectation of finding someone to spend the rest of your life with. Find someone to date that seems intriguing to you.” Be open to experiencing each date and each person for what they have to offer.
Prepare conversation starters. There’s nothing worse than awkward pauses on a first date that stretch into eternity. “You need to have a list of three surefire conversation starters and continuers,” says Casey. Her favorite questions: What is the most memorable meal you’ve ever had? Where do you want to travel? Movies, books, and television shows are also safe topics, she says.
Mention, but don’t dwell on kids. It’s important to mention that you have children in passing or if asked, but don’t talk about their first words or college choices for two hours. Also, don’t mention your ex. It probably goes without saying that by age 50, you have had a few love relationships in your life. There’s no need to give a new love interest the play-by-play.
Try an online over 50 dating web site. Americans age 50 and older are the fastest growing demographic on the dating websites and they make up 20 percent of all users. “My mom found someone online in five months and she is 63,” says Whitney Casey, author of The Man Plan: Drive Men Wild…Not Away.”