The Mystery Man. Why Won’t He Meet Me?

By: Elizabeth Marie |

3 years-ish ago, I met a guy online, we’ll call him “D”, on Myspace. It was fairly innocent, and he was fairly HOT. And by fairly, I mean SO.CUTE. It wasn’t some big love affair, I was in between relationships but we shared music tastes, a dry (ahem devastatingly witty) sense of humor and we both lived in L.A. Emails slowly progressed to text messages to random phone calls. Again, not a big love affair, but definitely something with potential.

The Mystery Man

He would ask me to hang out, and then cancel. This cycle would repeat, repeat, repeat. I’d be in his neighborhood and ask him to meet up for coffee/lunch but he always had plans. What a coincidence, right? I never really cared too much-I started a new relationship and just filed “D” away as a text/email buddy and he seemed happy to just fade away naturally as my relationship with my now boyfriend progressed.

Now, we’re friends on Facebook and Twitter, and he drunk texts me ALL.THE.TIME. He emails me new music he thinks I’ll like (I always love it) and he calls me once every few weeks. Gathering from the social media stalking I’ve done, he’s single…goes out all the time, doesn’t have a girlfriend or ten kids…and there’s no reason we haven’t hung out. If I stop responding to him, I get “Where are you? I miss you!” texts, etc. He’s lent a virtual hand during hard times in my life, sends me small (non creepy) presents for my birthday and Christmas and seems to be a great guy…but it’s so hard to tell, since he won’t ever come out from behind the computer.

It is so confusing, because although I am so happy in my relationship, I consider “D” a friend. But are we?

I get that maybe he just isn’t that interested in meeting me face to face, and I’m ok with that. To be honest, I’m not interested in him romantically in any way-I mean, a guy who takes 3 years to get something done is not attractive! If he isn’t interested, or wasn’t interested 3 years ago…why does he keep calling/texting/tweeting/emailing/facebooking?

Possible Answers.
1. He’s shy/intimidated-this has been his excuse before but I’m not sure I buy it.
2. He is not whom he appears to be online. My only issue with this is that his Facebook seems to be filled with “real” life friends and family, and he always has new pictures-I know where he works, where he lives-whoa I sound like a creep. HOWEVER-we’ve all heard the Catfish story, right? Never can be too careful! But I mean, his mom clearly comments on his posts, and I just can’t imagine she isn’t real!
3. He likes having an attractive girl give him attention but he doesn’t have to step up to the plate and actually “DO” anything. BINGO.
4. He’s just a weirdo.

I’m leaning towards 3, and hoping it’s not 4. But at this point, it’s just more curiosity than anything else-who is my mysterious friend “D”? Hey D, you’re probably reading this…since you follow me on Twitter and all!

What do you guys think? Why would you invest so much in someone you never plan to meet? Help a girl out. 🙂