How To Ask a Guy Out

By: Elizabeth Marie |

date
Everyone likes to be asked out, even guys. It’s flattering! It’s fun! You may realize that someone you know peripherally is actually an amazing person to date.

It can be scary to put yourself out there, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Ladies, here are a few tips on how to ask a guy out.

1. Make sure they know you’re interested. Pave the way by being friendly and interested first. Flirt! If you’re hanging out in person already, try a little casual touch and lots of eye contact. If you’ve met online, keep your messages light and flirtatious — make sure they know you’re interested in getting to know them. Most people feel more comfortable when they know that the person who’s interested, at least a little bit.

2. Be direct, but low pressure. Don’t beat around the bush. Not all guys are super in tune with the fact that you like them “that” way. So don’t try to hint that you’d like to get together. Suggest something open-ended: “We should have drinks after work this week” or “Maybe we can get a beer and watch the game one night” as opposed to something with a ton of constraints: “Let’s meet for dinner at La Fiesta at 8 PM on Wednesday.” Suggest a specific activity without seeming controlling.

3. Do it alone. My boyfriend was once asked out by a girl in front of all of their friends. He said that he wasn’t terribly interested, but when someone asks you on a date in front of 15 people, you kind of have to say yes. Shoot them an email if need be, or at the very least, try to get them alone before asking.

4. Avoid doing it via text message, at least for the first date. In this digital age, I think we’ve all gotten a little lazy about communication. If at all possible, call and ask. Or at least craft a sweet email.

5. Make it clear it’s a date. Avoid the vagueness of “let’s hang out” and that weird question of whether or not it’s a date. So often, it seems like people are caught in a weird cycle of “hanging out” and casual relationships which is FINE if that’s what you’re looking for. But, if you’re interested in having an exclusive relationship, make it clear that this isn’t just a casual “come over and watch a movie” situation. It doesn’t require a serious conversation, but communicate that you’re interested in dating.

6. Accept the answer with grace. No begging. No crying. No passive aggressive Facebook status updates. No games. No drama. Accept it, and wait for the next person to come along who will surely recognize your awesomeness!

Have you ever asked a guy out?