How To Get What You Deserve In a Relationship
By: Elizabeth Marie |
When people think about what they want in a partner and in a relationship, they often have high expectations. But often times, real life gets in the way and we find ourselves settling for less than we initially wanted, and more importantly less than we deserve. Having a relationship and being a part of a “we” has become more important than the person we are in a relationship with, but these types of romances don’t work for the long run because eventually you will get tired of settling and move on. To prevent all of that drama, here our the best tips on how to get what you deserve in a relationship.
1. Set your standards from the beginning. In essence, we teach the outside world how to treat us. If we accept being treated poorly or behaviors that upset or hurt us, the other person is going to assume it’s all ok and not change. Some people are afraid to speak up when their alarm bells go off because they don’t want to seem like they are making a big deal about nothing, but is it really nothing if you are upset about it? Maintaining your boundaries and standards from the start of the very first date will set the tone for the relationship.
2. Treat yourself well. Along the same lines as #1, a great way to teach the world how to treat you is to treat yourself well. This takes on many forms-physical well being, self respect and holding yourself to the same high standards that you hold dates to. When you do this, you come across and self assured, strong and confident and these are the types of qualities that attract the highest caliber dates. See how that works?
3. Determine what is truly important to you. Your list of date standards is going to be different from anyone else. Spend time thinking about what is important to you in a relationship and a partner. What are the things and qualities that make you feel loved and secure? What threatens you or makes you uneasy? A bit of time working through your feelings before a relationship starts will save you a lot of heartache in the long run..
4. Don’t limit yourself. The thing with establishing standards and boundaries is that it’s all too easy to stick to a “dating box” and never stray. If you’re a mature online dater, you might be limiting yourself by doing this. When you date the same types of people over and over again, you might get comfortable with them…even if they aren’t right for you. Online dating is the perfect place to meet all different types of dates, and experience new kinds of relationships. If you want different results in your love life, you have to start out by doing different things.
5. Think positive. You control your reality with your thoughts. If you are frustrated and annoyed with the online dating process and you continuously tell yourself that you aren’t going to meet anyone great, you probably won’t…you’ll be too tied up in your negativity to notice them, anyway! Not every first or third date is going to be a love connection, and along with dating comes disappointment. The key is to keep moving forward and allowing your heart and mind to remain open. Sooner, rather than later, someone will cross your path who you won’t have to settle one bit for!