Is It Normal To Only Talk To Your Boyfriend Once a Week?

By: Amy Estes |


A few years ago, I went out on a very successful first date (or so I thought) and afterwards, the guy didn’t text me for nearly a week. I assumed I’d misread the situation completely, and wrote it off. When he got in touch a week later, I was surprised, simply because I was abiding by the old school standard of a three day time limit post first date.

When he did get in touch, I expressed surprise in hearing from him after so long. He seemed surprised that I was surprised! I didn’t know what to say to that, just because it seemed…odd. I had gone my whole dating life thinking that while it was completely normal to not see one another for a week, in this age of text messaging and email, one should get in touch a little sooner, especially if you’re going to set up a second date!

The epilogue to that story is that we made a second date that he never showed up for OR called about, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, was I way off base about first date communication?

Is it normal to go a week after a date with zero contact and then act as if all is well?

I called in an expert (my boyfriend of five years, and someone who promptly text messaged me after our first date, I might add) and he agreed with my original thought that anything beyond 72 hours isn’t normal at all.

But then, I asked another female friend, and her thought was that I needed to relax because a week isn’t that long when you’re getting to know someone. Her rule is that after a week, she sends a “feeler” text to see if there’s interest, and if she gets no response, she assumes that’s the end of the relationship, but until it’s been at least a week, ┬áthere’s nothing to worry about.

What do you think? What do you consider a normal amount of time between communication early on in a relationship?