Dating Dealbreakers

By: Amy Estes |

Have you ever had one of those perfect first dates, where everything goes well, and then BAM. Something truly horrid happens, and despite the rest of the evening being amazing, you just can’t let it go?

Most of us have a general idea of what we’re looking for in a partner, but what about the things we are most definitely not okay with?

Let’s talk about deal breakers.

  1. Being rude to a server, barista, bartender, etc. NOPE. Not okay. Everyone has heard the cliche that “a person who isn’t nice to the waitress isn’t a nice person” and it’s true. Being rude to people in the service industry doesn’t make you look cool, it makes you seem like a horrible person. DEALBREAKER.
  2. Undertipping. See above: service industry professionals work hard. If someone is a crappy tipper, you can imagine what they’ll spend on your gifts and dates in the future. DEALBREAKER.
  3. Loud chewing, smacking and/or chewing with mouth open. Picky? Maybe. This is a pet peeve of mine, and it’s just not something I want to deal with. Good manners are sexy. Seeing your food while you’re eating is the opposite of sexy. DEALBREAKER.
  4. Constantly discussing your ex. UGH. If you’re over the age of 16, it’s likely you have a few exes, as does your date. But don’t talk about them non-stop, or at all, for the first few dates. If you’re being too angry, it makes you seem kind of scary. If you’re being too complimentary, it’s easy to come off like you’re not over them. DEALBREAKER.
  5. Racist, homophobic, or inappropriate jokes. I love people who have a good sense of humor and I like to think I have a great sense of humor myself. But if you make a joke that involves a stereotype and/or a slur? DEALBREAKER.
  6. Body odor, or otherwise poor hygiene. I am super sensitive to smell and am one of those hyper clean people. I know we all sweat, but if I can smell that on our first date? DEALBREAKER.
  7. Being too aggressive. Please don’t ask if I want to “go back to your place” or be too handsy. If I’m into it, you’ll know. Let things evolve naturally. If you move too fast, it’s a total DEALBREAKER.
  8. Talking only about yourself, or not talking at all. I want to get to know you — that’s why we’re on a date. But if you’re the sort that only talks about yourself, I’m not into it. Good conversation is a give and take. Just as bad is not talking at all. I can’t carry a conversation on my own for long. Long rambling or total silence? DEALBREAKER.

What are your dating dealbreakers?