How To Identify The Good Guys
By: Elizabeth Marie |
Lisa Copeland is an over50’s dating coach and blogger. Visit her website Find A Quality Man for more great dating tips. Today she is answering a very common question from a reader!
Dear Lisa C,
I am so tired of being disappointed by a man. When we meet, he seem so great then as time goes on, something changes and he is completely different then the man I thought I met.
It’s so frustrating and I’m tired of dating these losers. Do you have any suggestions on how I can tell the good guys from the bad ones? Thanks Monica
When men and women first meet, both have brought the best of themselves to the dating table. It’s a little bit like a play where actors are pretending to be someone else. We do it because we want to appear wonderful so the person sitting across from us will like us.
What happens is we find ourselves falling in love during those first few dates with that wonderful person we think we know. But what’s really happening is we are falling in love with an idea of who we think a man is. Our idea does not necessarily match the reality of the man himself.
Anyone can act for an hour, a day and even a couple of weeks or months but no one can sustain first date behavior forever. Over time, our true personalities start coming out.
You can’t really tell who a man is until you’ve been with him for a while. But, there are signs you can watch for that may help you identify the Good Guys from the Not so Good.
A Non Quality Man will..
1. be abrupt with you. Maybe he cuts you off and doesn’t let you voice your opinions or maybe he totally disregards your feelings.
2. He’s secretive meaning he purposely avoids answering questions about different parts of his life and you know he’s hiding something but can’t quite put your finger on it.
3. He’s condescending. He is laughing at you -not with you and telling you that you aren’t enough whether its smart enough or pretty enough or thin enough. He makes you feel not ok about who you are.
4. He’s evasive which means he’ll change the subject or laugh it off saying we’ll talk about it later but never does. Frustrating right?
On the other hand a Quality Man is…
1. Both honest and loyal wanting to share his life with you.
2. He wants to make you happy and part of that is telling you how wonderful you are and how much you mean to him.
3. He walks his talk meaning he follows through on whatever he tells you he’ll do to the best of his ability.
4. And he wants to hear about and be a part of your life.
I hope this guide helps you in the future with the men you meet. Take it slow and be careful of getting too emotionally attached before you really know who a man is. Good luck and keep us posted.