Why I Will Never Have A Traditional Wedding
By: Amy Estes |
I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly five years now, and I can almost guarantee that we will never, ever have a traditional wedding, nor will we have a wedding any time soon.
I’m completely okay with it and it is a total non-issue in our relationship, despite the fact that many of my friends are married with kids. I totally respect that for some girls, this is a life-long dream and I love a good wedding, but when it’s my time to say “I do” I won’t be doing it with a huge ceremony and a fancy party. Instead, I imagine a private ceremony, just the two of us and a small party in our backyard — when we return from a long trip to Europe, obviously.
I don’t begrudge anyone their big day or their own preferences, but it’s not my scene.
- We are already committed, so there’s no rush or need to make a big deal. We live together. We share bills. We vacation together. We are fixtures in one another’s families. We have a cat. We are very much in love. I know that for some people, marriage symbolizes the ultimate commitment, but we both feel 100% committed to the other person. If we decided to split, yes, we would avoid a divorce, but it would be financially difficult and would ruin both of us emotionally, just like a divorce. Our relationship is solid and awesome, sans the husband and wife titles. In fact, I secretly like that we aren’t married, because we wake up next to one another every day because we choose to be there, not because we’re legally bound. Not much will change, so why go through all the hoopla of throwing a wedding?
- The money. When/if we do tie the knot, I definitely won’t be spending hours on Pinterest and seeking our exotic floral arrangements. My ideal way of spending a chunk of change we could put towards a wedding would be going on a huge trip around the world together after a tiny ceremony at the courthouse. After we got home, we could celebrate by having some close friends and family over for a casual night in our backyard. Nothing fancy, and definitely under $1,000. I’ll spend my loads in Europe, thanks.
- The drama. I have been a bridesmaid FOURTEEN TIMES. I love my friends, but I don’t think I’ve been in one wedding that didn’t have some sort of drama: familial issues, girls not liking the dresses, last minute problems with the site, rude wedding coordinators, mothers-in-law from hell. I sympathize that so many of these things must feel incredibly stressful in the moment, but it just seems like a lot of fuss for one day.
- It’s about the marriage, not the wedding. I have personally seen so many of my friends freak out about the day-of stuff and pay little to no attention to the giant commitment they’re about to make to someone. To me, getting married isn’t about a big party — it’s about saying yes to my favorite person. I don’t need a party to do that!
These are just my thoughts. I think that for everyone, their ideal big day is different, and that’s awesome!
No matter if you’re planning a triple-digit black-tie affair or you’re running to the courthouse alone, may your wedding be truly what you’ve always envisioned.