4 Reasons To Give Your Bad First Date a Second Chance
By: Elizabeth Marie |
When you come home at the end of a bad date, you might hurry to write a blog post all about it (if you’re me) or call up your best friend to tell her about all of the things he did wrong. One thing you probably don’t do is accept when he asks you out for a second date. As daters, we don’t leave much room for mistakes, nerves or bad days. We’ve been taught that first impressions are everything, and if a guy blows it, he’ll be deleted from your phone and Facebook profile before he has a chance to make it up to you…but not so fast! Here are 5 reasons why you should give your bad first date a second chance.
1. First dates pretty much suck. Being honest here, I am NEVER 100% myself on a first date. I’m naturally a bit shy and awkward around new people, and coupled with the pressure of a first date, I definitely don’t always put my best foot forward, despite my best intentions. Sometimes it takes me until the second or even third date to relax and let my true personality shine through. Isn’t it only fair to extend the same train of thought to guys?
2. OH GOD THE PRESSURE. There is a load of pressure on both of you-you want to look good, feel confident, say the right things, not to say the wrong things, act interested but not desperate, be fun loving but not get wasted and dance on the table…it’s exhausting! And you know what happens to some people when they are under pressure like that? They cave and act like the worst first date ever. After you’ve gotten the initial first date meeting out of the way, the dates following are able to be a lot less intense, and hopefully a lot more fun.
3. Why not? I mean, unless he did something completely ridiculous, rude or offensive or is a total online dating horror story, in which case tell him to kick rocks, is having a second date with the dude really an outlandish idea? I hate to sound like your mom, but nobody is perfect and maybe it was on “off” night. If you found him interesting in the least, you don’t owe it to him to dig deeper, you owe it to yourself.
4. It may not have been love at first sight, but it might be love, nonetheless. First dates are so highly glamorized these days, we want to open the door and immediately fall head over heels in love with a dashing stranger. But that’s the thing…he’s a stranger. When we fling open the door and we don’t feel the rush of butterflies or want to run of to Tahiti and get married right away, we assume that something is missing, that he isn’t the person we were looking for and write him off completely. Love takes time, it takes date after date, it takes learning who somebody truly is, not just who they were on a first date. Falling in love on a second or third or twentieth date isn’t any less romantic than falling in love on the first one.