How To Tell If You’re Dating A Narcissist

By: We Love Dates |

How To Tell If You’re Dating A Narcissist

Want to know if that person you’re dating is a narcissist?

Do they continually need to be praised and have their ego stroked?

If you’ve ever dealt with someone like this, you know just how exhausting it can be.

It is thought that around 1% of the population suffers from Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). 

However, many people who have it are never actually diagnosed.

Although, it’s worth remembering that almost everyone has some narcissistic traits, most people do not meet the criteria for having NPD.

Forming attachments to individuals who exhibit these negative traits often causes similar distress as a diagnosable narcissistic relationship, so it’s important to be aware of any consistent NPD behaviour exhibited by potential partners.

So, before you get mixed up in dating a narcissist, see if any of these signs sound familiar:

They’re A Sweet Talker

Narcissists can be very charming and persuasive.

When you have something they need, they make you feel very special indeed.

However, once they’ve gotten what they want, they’ll probably drop you without a second thought.

They can be very engaging and encouraging, as long as you’re fulfilling what they desire, and giving them all of your attention.

You see, narcissists believe themselves to be special, and by extension believe they can only be understood and appreciated by other special people.

If they’re dating you, don’t be surprised by comments such as, “You’re not like the others, you’re different” – even if you’ve only just started dating.

Any true narcissist can charm the pants off of just about anyone.

But Enough About Me, How Do You Feel About Me?

You’re in the middle of telling him about an argument with your sister, and before you know it you’re talking about his relationship issues with his sister.

Somehow every conversation turns to his own grand internal struggle because, frankly, yours just isn’t that interesting to him.

The narcissist loves to talk about him or herself, and doesn’t give you a chance to take part in the conversation.

You Struggle To Be Heard

When you do get a word in, if it’s not in agreement with them, your comments are likely to be corrected or ignored.

While many people have the poor communication habit of interrupting others, the narcissist interrupts and quickly switches the focus back to himself and of course shows little genuine interest in you. 

You’re there to feed their ego, to flatter them. You’re a part of their life, but are they a part of yours?

It’s a one-sided relationship when you’re with a narcissist and they’re always the star of the show.

They Won’t Be Told What To Do

While not everyone likes being told what to do, a narcissist has an inherent need to be the alpha in almost every situation.

They absolutely resent authority, whether that be their Manager or a Police Officer, they truly believe no one has the right to command them to do anything.

They find it incredibly difficult to accept criticism and strongly prefer to be in control of things and those around them at all times.

The narcissist enjoys getting away with violating rules, such as pushing in front of people in a queue, stealing office supplies or driving recklessly.

Not only is a narcissist above the law, but they wrote it, too.

They don’t do compromise, they strongly believe they’re right and that they’re teaching you something.

They just can’t understand another person’s perspective.

They’ll Easily Discard You

Since narcissists see their partners as extensions of themselves, they’re very concerned with their reputation, and you add to their reputation since they’re dating you.

But as soon as something bad happens it’s very possible they’ll just discard you.

They literally won’t want anything to do with you.

They’re far more invested in looking good than in a relationship with any individual person.

A narcissist needs constant ego boosts because they can’t sustain their own self-esteem and as soon as you fail to comply with all of their expectations, they’ll just look for someone else to take your place.

Below Are Some Of The More Common Traits A Narcissist Is Likely To Have: 

  • Sense of entitlement or superiority
  • Focus on getting one’s own needs met, often ignoring the needs of others
  • Manipulative or controlling behaviour
  • Strong need for admiration
  • Higher levels of aggression
  • Difficulty taking feedback about their behaviour

Do you spot any of these traits in someone you’re dating? Perhaps you’ve dated someone like this before?

Comment with your experiences below!

About The Author

Rose of in collaboration with We Love Dates

Rose Lockwood has been the lifestyle editor at Vivre Le Rêve since 2016.

Her passion for helping people in all aspects of writing and online marketing shows in the expert industry coverage she provides.

In addition to writing for Vivre Le Rêve, Rose also provides content writing, technical SEO and copywriting services for businesses of all sizes.

WeLoveDates also interviewed Rose about her take on dating, and you can read Rose’s thoughts here.

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How To Tell If You’re Dating A Narcissist