How To Handle Being Stood Up

By: Elizabeth Marie |

There are some moments in your life you will just never forget.  Graduations, birthdays, vacations…and the first time you’re stood up on a date.  It wasn’t my brightest moment, but in a way, I’m glad it happened.  Being stood up was always fairly high on my “Whats the worst that could happen?” list, and I’m sure it’s on yours, too.  Here’s my story of the first time I got stood up-if I could handle it, you can too…here’s how.

This was one of those online dates that I had a ton of reservations about.  I couldn’t get a good read on the guy from his emails and texts and I didn’t really feel any kind of spark.  But, it was a Friday night and I wanted to  go out!  I thought that I was judging him too quickly and hoped that something might be there when we met in person.  So I got dressed up, did my hair and agreed to meet him at a nice Italian restaurant.  In hindsight, I knew I didn’t like this guy, that something about him seemed a bit “off.”  I wish I trusted my instincts and stayed home, but I’ve never been one to learn lessons the easy way.

After forty five minutes of sitting alone at the table for two in the dimly lit, romantic restaurant I felt my stomach drop.  I KNEW he wasn’t going to show and I didn’t know what to do.  I’d ordered a glass of wine already and had told the server I was waiting for my date.  I played with my phone, texting my friends and sister, asking for advice and hoping the people at the tables around me would think I was texting my date directions or something.  I held back tears and I felt an anxiety attack coming on.  I knew the best thing to do would be to get up and leave, but I almost felt glued to my seat.  I ended up throwing a twenty dollar bill on my table and racing out the door.  That was one expensive glass of wine.

I walked to my car in the rain and called my supposed date…no answer.  As I sat in the car, I knew there were only two ways I could look at this situation and deal with them. 1.) Take the blame my self-he didn’t like me enough, he had second thoughts, he met someone better. OR 2.) He’s an inconsiderate asshole, and even if all the above things are true, did my a favor by not showing up and wasting my time.

I chose to go with option 2.  When somebody stands you up for no good reason (obviously, emergencies happen) it tells you more about them then about you.   I took a deep breath, fixed my hair and drove off to meet my best friend for a drink.  She turned out to be the best date ever!

Of course he called and texted repeatedly for the next few days, wanting another chance.  Did I give him one? Hell no…he had already given me quite the first impression, without even showing up.