Do you Facebook Stalk Before A Date?
By: Marielo Gomez |
So, you’ve got the date! Mission accomplished, the next steps are vital! Will you choose to read up on their social media channels or dive straight into the unknown? A study by an IAC company has shown 48% of women lookup a potential date first on Facebook and we think the other 52% might be fibbing..
It’s a tough case to crack, is there any harm in a little bit of snooping?
At WeLoveDates, we think you should leave out the online ‘research’ and this is why.
If you’re looking for something you don’t like, odds are you’ll find it! It could be a bad angled photograph or a typo in a status. We play up the perfect partner and when something isn’t quite right we recoil in fear. If you’re judging your date by a bad move on their social channels you’re forming an unfair opinion on them before you’ve even given them a chance!
Online stalking your date could result in a serious slip up from you, especially if you’re having a few drinks over dinner, words seem to just roll off your tongue right? You’ve flipped through their photos and seen the album ‘Travelling 2014’ or seen a status revealing ‘Man of the match! Great game boys!’ When mentioning your latest holiday it’s only too easy for you to say ‘You rode an elephant there too didn’t you!?’ YIKES.
If you’ve met your date online, they’ve given you an open invite to raid their dating profile, like you they’ve put their best foot forward and surely it’s enough for you to see one profile? Don’t get greedy with their online information, you have to earn the right to their other social accounts!
Over stalking can also really damage natural conversation. If he’s telling you about his favourite band or his latest football achievement and you already know it, you’re going to have to fake your response. How much more exciting would conversation be if you genuinely had no idea? You’d ask more questions or exchange a funny relating story and you’d feel equal share in getting to know each other. You know like the good old days, you tell a story, he tells a story. You both learn about each other in the moment!
Online stalking seriously distorts the way you see your relationship. You get to see parts of their life that organically, you shouldn’t know about yet. Remember technically you’re still strangers, even though you’ve seen his life catalog and the inside of his Nanna’s house.
Remember life pre 2004? (That’s pre Facebook for you and I) Couples used to meet up without having spent hours searching for their mate on Google, Instagram, Tumblr, LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook and look at them, they did just fine! There’s certainly enough proof in the world that you don’t need to online stalk a date beforehand to make it work out.
Online stalking can lead to paranoia in relationships, even from the pre date! That little voice in your head that’s questioning who the blonde in his profile photo is, could it be a cousin? What if he’s actually in love with her? Stop. He’s going on a date with you isn’t he? That little paranoid voice wouldn’t be getting into your thoughts if you hadn’t raided his profile!
It’s pretty much impossible not to judge someone by their online profiles, even by looking at their friends. So, you’ve got a mutual friend with the guy who called you fat once, surely that means your date must be a jerk too? Stop. Stop and sign off. Remember it works two ways, how would you feel if you were being judged by that photo you have from 2007 in the neon leotard? A study by Parship saw a whopping 77% of singles decline a date after discovering something they didn’t like online!
A word of warning for those of you who even after reading this, can’t refrain from a tiny-little-ever-so-innocent snoop. Delete that history! When they’re looking over your shoulder or adding themselves to your Facebook, they put the first letter of their name into the search box and BAM there they are. BUSTED!
There you have it, why you shouldn’t Facebook a potential date! Sure it’s fine if you want to double check the face to the name or scan their background info- age, location and status. Some people see it as a ‘try before you buy’ but why not go surprise yourself and see what you think face to face rather than face to Facebook?
Share your story with us! Have you ever stalked a potential date?