We’ve undressed the dream man, stripped him down to the basics…
By: Marielo Gomez |
We’ve undressed the dream man, stripped him down to the basics, the results? It just might make you change your mind about him.
As females we’ve all done it, we dream up our perfect man and whether he exists or not is an entirely different matter. We cherry pick characteristics and personality traits we’ve read about in books or seen in movies and we mould them into a human we’re convinced would be perfect for us. We’ll then compare Mr. Dream to Mr. Reality and whilst I’m saying don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve, I thought it would be interesting to break down Mr. Dream so we could get our record straight and stop our wandering imaginations do anymore harm to our single status. Oh and FYI: he’s not that dreamy.
HE HAS AMBITION
Dream: He’s career driven, he works hard and he’s determined to get to the top. His work ethic is honourable and his motivation to achieve his goals is desirable. Plus, he looks killer in that suit every morning.
Reality: His work comes first..That’s before you. It’s 10pm on a Friday night and you’re still waiting for him to get home from work. He’s staying late, again. When you do spend quality time with him the notifications from his inbox will become a constant nagging that you’ll soon resent. Successful men have to sacrifice things and we, the girlfriend usually end up being that sacrifice. Sure, Mr. Dream might bring home the big bucks but in the day of the modern woman, do we really want to be showered with guilt gifts? I’m saying no thank you.
Dream: He’s not afraid to kiss you in front of a room of people, he’s so in love with you he can’t keep his hands away and he proudly makes it known that you’re all his.
Reality: PDA makes everyone feel awkward and weird. I’m just saying on behalf of the nation, just in case you weren’t sure. Being suffocated by affection is a horrible feeling, you feel like you’re squashing the fairy god mother of love out of your life but let’s face it, being smothered with kisses at all times makes us become immune to the delicate little moments. There’s a time and there’s a place.
Dream: He can hold his own and you can speak about topical subjects, he’s always updated with news developments and an evening debate over dinner comes naturally to him.
Reality: Unless you’re equally in tune with his level of intelligence this is not going to end well because a) He doesn’t care that TOWIE series 376 is back tonight and b) If you can’t keep up with his conversation you’ll start to doubt yourself. There’s only so long you can nod your head and agree before he realises you have no idea about the FTSE or the political movement happening in Papua New Guinea.
Dream: He’s whisking you away for the weekend with an hour notice period. He’s active, he’s the life of the party and when he’s around there’s always fun to be had.
Reality: You’ve been saving for months towards that joint item, be it a car, a house or a holiday. He then tells you he’s taking a week break with the boys or comes home from the supermarket with the latest Xbox when you asked for 3 red onions. We agree that a fun guy comes out top but you’ll soon be wishing for structure and routine when his impulses start to affect you.
Of course we wouldn’t dare tempt you away from Mr.Dream without some numbers to back up our points, so just in case you needed a little more persuading, here’s some of the need to know facts to give you a nudge back to reality.
- 84% of women say they prefer to be with men who know computers instead of men who spend a lot of time in the gym.
- PDA is the most frowned upon act from people that travel by London tube.
- Men with higher intelligence are lacking in manual skills.
- Women who marry uglier men have happier marriages than ones who marry attractive men
- Couples who are too similar are less likely to have a lasting relationship.
- Men with a large friendship group claim their biggest dating fear is having a woman come between them and their friends.
- The higher the pay cheque the higher the chance of cheating
- Men who splash the cash on a first date are only seen as short term partners by women.
Dream: He’s extremely sociable, he has so many friends and is a key character in his friendship group. He makes friends easily and is brilliant at staying in touch with people. You’ve made new friends because of his connections.
Reality: He will happily ditch you to spend some time with the boys. He’ll never miss a social and you have to share him with everyone else. A romantic meal for two soon becomes a triple date and you’re left talking about what tea towels last longer with his friends wives. You can feel like you’re second best and not worthy of his time. A man with a core friendship group is brilliant but it’s important the balance is put in place and by the way, ‘bros over hoes’ is not a thing if you’re over the age of 25.
HE HAS SHARED INTERESTS
Dream: You attend couples bike rides, he’s your tennis partner, you’ll order the same meal at the restaurant and you’re so compatible it’s crazy.
Reality: You used to play tennis as an escape or to socialise with your friends, now you just have a lingering shadow you can’t shake. You’ve learnt nothing new since being together and you’re ‘Taco Tuesdays’ are dull as dishwater because you’ve only ever had Taco Tuesdays. You need to have things in common to have a healthy relationship but when you’re not offering anything new you’re not broadening your horizons!
Dream: Mr. Dream has a face chiseled by Gods. He takes pride in his appearance, he works out, he wouldn’t dare chew his nails and his hair has that bouncy, L’oreal look about it.
Reality: How would you feel tucking into a tub of Ben and Jerry’s whilst Mr. Dream breathes down your neck with ‘fun facts’ about how many calories are in each spoonful. What about the days you just want to slob out with no make up and he’s there looking like a waxwork, not a hair out of place. A man should never make you feel inadequate, if he’s got the looks and personality, sure it’s a winner but if there’s no personality to back that perfect face up, it’s not going to be long before looks fade and you become bored of ‘fun facts.’
Dream: He’s completely in control of his own life, he doesn’t need guidance, validation or reassurance.
Reality: Your opinions become pointless, your suggestions turn to ash. Although independence is a fantastic trait, when it comes to a relationship it really does take two and it’s important to feel like your voice is being heard and you can bring more into their lives by being around and looking out for them.
Let this be a lesson for all you women who are fantasising about their dream man and wondering why you haven’t met him yet. He doesn’t exist! With every attribute there’s a flaw and true love is about taking both the positive and negatives of another person. In the world of dating, it’s only too easy to wonder if the grass will be greener, stop and remember dream man is for dreaming, live in the now and love the reality of the men we have today!