15 Things a Girl Should Never Ask a Guy Over Text Message

By: Alicia Drewnicki |

Modern communication is leading to a serious case of dating and relationship miscommunication. We’ve become a society so reliant on technology that often we bring up important matters in a text conversation rather than waiting until we see each other face-to-face. The problem with a text message is that it’s so easy to read between the lines and misinterpret the things said. There’s no easy way to recognise the tone of voice or to tell if a message is meant to be taken seriously or in jest. Even a seemingly insignificant aspect such as the amount of kisses on a message can be over-analysed (admittedly, more often from a woman’s point of view).

If you’re a lady who’s a textaholic, but you find yourself in constant arguments, here are 15 messages that you should never send to a man…

1) “Do you still love your ex?”
Do you really want this answer? If it’s bad news, the best way to find this out is certainly not over text message. Yes we all get curious and are guilty of asking things in the hope of a negative answer, but worst case scenario; your guy is honest with you and it’s not what you want to hear. If you’ve got your suspicions, leave it until you’re face to face. Prying into his feelings can seriously damage the trust you’ve developed.

2) “Do you think I need to lose weight?”
We ask these kind of questions in the hope that the answer is: “of course not, I love you how you are.” For a woman this is always a rhetorical question, but some guys don’t realise this and will sometimes tell the blunt truth. The words: “you’ve let yourself go” can lead to irreversible trouble in paradise…

3) “How do you feel about me?”
Danger zone. This is an answer that you need to hear face to face. Guys can struggle to vocalise their feelings when put under pressure, especially over a text message. Don’t prompt an argument for no reason…

4) “Why have you stopped messaging me?”
Ghosting hurts, but if a guy isn’t messaging – the way to get him to respond isn’t to probe him and ask him why he hasn’t been in touch. Either wait for him to get back in touch and assume he’s busy or face reality, which might be that he’s just not that into you.

5) “Are you seeing anyone else?”
He’s going to say no. Simple as that. This shouts out ‘insecurity’ more than anything else. You should be confident that you’re enough to keep your man’s attention.

6) “Do you love me?”
Don’t force it. This is something you shouldn’t have to ask. Instead, you should either know the answer, or let your man say it, without being prompted. This sort of text message puts a guy under pressure and you’re essentially forcing the issue rather than letting it happen naturally. If it’s your first time saying it – don’t do it over text message, leave it for a special moment in person.

7) “Where is our relationship going?”
This translates as – tell me if we’re exclusive or are we just casually dating? If you need to text him to ask and it’s not clear in person, then this relationship is clearly not moving in the right direction.

8) “How much do you love me?”
His actions will speak louder than his words – especially those written down on a text message! This is just a way of fishing for compliments. Some guys just don’t like to express themselves over text message, so don’t be offended if he’s not gushing as much as you are.

9) “How does this outfit look?”
Let’s rephrase this one – “does my bum look big in this?” When you send a guy a photo of several outfits – whatever he chooses is going to be the wrong choice. You know that. He knows that, so it’s ridiculous even asking him as you’re going to get angry whatever he says.

10) “I’ve been thinking about having a break…what do you think?”
Sometimes we say things we don’t mean to try and test a guy. You’re stepping on dangerous territory here. He might not realise this is a test to see how he feels about you. Worst case scenario – if a guy isn’t crazy about you, he might agree and therefore you’re giving him an easy way out. If you really feel like this, at least give him enough respect to talk about it in person.

11) “What are you thinking about?”
Guys have funny minds and frankly, sometimes it’s best not to know what they’re thinking about! He’s never going to be 100% honest about it, so instead of trying to dive into the male mind, just ask him what he’s up to instead.

12) “Are you drunk?”
If your guy has been out with the lads – this is a ridiculous question to ask. Of course he’s drunk and he may say things that he doesn’t mean to say. As the old saying goes: “in vino veritas.”

13) “Have any girls been flirting with you?”
This is another dangerous question. Why do you need to know if girls have been flirting with him? If he says “yes,” then the next question will be “who?” and “did you flirt back?” A conversation that could easily escalate and spiral out of control, so be careful.

14)  “When are we getting married?”
This is one of the most serious conversations you can have as a couple, so why would you ask him this by text? If you’ve been living together and you’re still not sure, deep down admit to yourself that it probably isn’t going to happen.

15) “Do you want to break up?”
This is quite possibly the worst thing that you could ask a guy over text message. Are you asking this because you actually want to break up with him? Save this conversation for when you’re together in person.

The most important message to take from this article is if you’ve got something serious to say – don’t say it over text message! Instead of helping us keep in touch, text messages can actually leave us feeling more out of touch with one another, so next time you’re ready to type, why not call him instead?

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