Dating Qualities Change as We Get Older

By: Jenn |

As kids and teens, our relationship ideas were focused on how cute a boy was, what sport he played or if he had a pool in his backyard. Perhaps they were simpler times, though I clearly remember the dramatic break ups and all of the feelings associated with these early relationships.

It’s only logical that as we grow older, our relationships evolve and the qualities we look for in a partner change. We as people become more complex, therefore allowing us to embark on more complex relationships. So as adults, what qualities do we look for now? Who has replaced the varsity athlete with a backyard pool?

Emotionally available.

We’ve all found ourselves attracted to the commitment-phobe at one point or another. The guy who is fun and carefree and who won’t settle down. I don’t know if they actually fear the commitment itself, or if they are just constantly on the look-out for something better. Either way, they’re infuriating to date.

Stable lifestyle.

A good job and normal life is generally preferable to beggar on the street that’s couchsurfing. I’d even go a little further and say that I want a guy who has a budget, a rational outlook on life, and solid friendships. I think those are grounding elements for a person’s ego and they bring out the same groundedness in myself.


Everyone knows that looks fade. Even in men, who only seem to get more attractive with every gray hair and laugh line, it doesn’t last forever. I want to be attracted to my partner physically, but I also want to be attracted to them intellectually as well. If I can’t have great conversations with someone over time, I’m not going to stay interested for very long.

These are the top three changes for me. I no longer care about sports teams or six-pack abs like my 15-year-old self did. Now it’s all about making things last long term.

What are some qualities you look for now that you would never have considered years ago?

P.S. Help us collect some info and take our quick poll about your dating habits!