15 Essential Dating Rules Every Girl Should Stick to in 2015
By: Alicia Drewnicki |
Single ladies – 2015 is in full flow and it’s time to have the best year of dating yet. Did you fall into any bad dating habits last year? Perhaps you consistently dated the wrong type, or maybe you didn’t date enough?
If you’re looking for some top tips, here are 15 dating rules to stick to in 2015.
1) Remember – if he’s prepared to cheat WITH you, he might not be able to stop himself from cheating ON you
It might seem fun at the time, but being the ‘other woman’ is always risky business. The old saying goes: ‘a leopard never changes its spots’, and as the late James Goldsmith once said: “when you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy”. Don’t be fooled into thinking that finding you meant he found ‘the one’. If he’s cheated on a partner before with no guilty conscience, you’ll never be sure that the same thing might not happen to you in the future.
2) Maintain a bit of mystery
This applies to all aspects of dating – from the way you dress to the topics you discuss over dinner. When we’re anxious on a date, we tend to babble on to hide our nervousness and may give away our secrets too early. If you’re guilty of this, focus on finding out about your date too, ask questions and always leave him wanting to find out more. On the topic of clothing – don’t feel you have to go for the ‘reveal all’ approach to get his attention. A little bit of mystery is far sexier.
3) Be fair – if you want a guy to give you girl time, then let him have guy time too
When we first start dating someone, it’s natural to want to see that person as much as possible, but remember, it’s always better for a relationship to develop slowly and to maintain balance. If a guy wants to go on a stag weekend with the boys, don’t get annoyed at this suggestion because you want him to yourself. Instead, remember the key rule – if you want to have girl time, you have to be fair and let him have his guy time too.
4) Don’t give away how keen you are too soon
There’s nothing that puts a guy off faster than a girl who is clingy and overkeen. Even if you are 100% sure he’s the one and you’ve never felt like this before – don’t give everything away too soon. Guys can take longer than girls for their emotional feelings to develop and the last thing you want to do is to scare him off. So before you start telling him you love him, naming your future children and talking about marriage – just enjoy the moment and getting to know each other.
5) It’s better to know and risk feeling disappointed than to never know and always wonder
Does he like me? Would he date me? Does he still have feelings for me? Us ladies torment ourselves with unanswered questions and what-ifs, but it’s time for a change. If you always wait for a guy to do the initiating, be brave and say what’s on your mind. Let 2015 be the year that you eradicate the what-ifs and find out where you stand. Perhaps a guy doesn’t reciprocate, but who cares, at least you know.
6) Be honest about how you feel – don’t ghost
‘Ghosting’ has become a dating norm these days – if you’re not familiar with the term, it’s when somebody suddenly disappears from a dating situation rather than saying how they truly feel; ignoring text and calls and fading away with no explanation. It’s the cowards way out of dating, but so many of us are doing it because it’s the easy alternative to being brutally honest.
If you’re guilty of ghosting – stop. Imagine what it’s like to be on the receiving end, wondering what you’ve said or done wrong. It may be awkward to say: “I don’t see this going anywhere”, but an honest text is better than radio silence.
7) Stop worrying about what other people think about you
We stop ourselves from doing things, saying things or dating certain people because of our worries about what other people think. It’s time to stop putting other people first and do what you want to do. If you find someone attractive – go for it! Don’t worry about what your family and friends say – they aren’t the ones dating him. The same goes for the person you’re dating – be yourself and stop feeling self-conscious about their feelings towards you.
8) To get something you’ve never had before in life, you must be prepared do something you’ve never done
Are you stuck in a dating rut? Do you find yourself going to the same bars every weekend and meeting the same people? It’s time for a change! Never tried a dating site before? Get on one ASAP. Always been reluctant to go to classes at the gym? Go for it – you never know who you might meet there. Do new things, go to new places and you never know what surprises may appear in your life.
9) Don’t be a doormat – you should never give a guy the satisfaction of knowing you’ll always wait for him
We all have that one guy who can’t do anything wrong in our eyes. It’s not a realistic relationship, it’s one we’ve exaggerated in our heads and made him out to be Prince Charming…and he knows it! It’s time to face up to reality and stop being a doormat. He’s just using you because he knows you’ll always be there. Stand up for yourself and know that if a guy thinks you’re too available, he’ll take you for granted.
10) Always listen to your heart
Not sure whether a guy is right for you? Confused about the advice your friends are giving you? Perhaps the most important lesson of all is to always listen to your heart and that gut feeling of yours. Do you think about him all the time and long to hear his voice? If it feels right, go for it. Let your heart lead you to happiness.
11) Never make a guy the centre of your world
If your blossoming relationship becomes your obsession and you forget about your friends and family, you might be left completely alone if things crumble. It’s easy to get absorbed into a bubble when things are going well, but remember that boyfriends come and go, but your friends and family will always be there, so don’t ignore them.
12) Stay optimistic – just because something’s not happening right now, it doesn’t mean it never will
Feel miffed that the guy you liked has suddenly got a new girlfriend? Don’t feel crushed about it. Not every relationship lasts a lifetime and realise that just because it’s not happening now, it doesn’t mean it never will in the future. Keep your optimistic attitude in life and don’t cancel things out too early.
13) Remember that beauty might capture a person’s attention but it’s personality that will capture their heart
Yes – being attracted to someone is important and with a plethora of dating apps and sites, sometimes we rely on physical appearance initially – but we need to move past this. Are you blinded by a guy’s good looks and is this hiding flaws in his personality? Would you rather go out with a handsome guy and be bored, or go out with an average looking guy with a fabulous sense of humour? I rest my case. The same goes for the qualities a guy looks for in you. Focus on letting your personality shine and being yourself rather than worrying too much about how you look.
14) Don’t judge someone before you’ve actually met them – give them a chance
We’ve all done it. It’s easy to label a guy a ‘player’ just because of the photos he has on his profile or assume he’s just after a fling, but how do you know until you’ve met up? Make it an important rule this year to stop judging guys before you’ve actually met up. Give guys you wouldn’t usually date a chance – they might just surprise you.
15) Don’t chase guys
In the words of Giancomo Casanova: “Be the flame, not the moth.” A woman should never chase a man. Full stop. Are you bombarding him with texts? Have you asked him why he hasn’t been in touch? Are you too full on? Sometimes we chase without even realising it. If he’s into you – he’ll be the one doing the chasing. Smothering him will only drive him away, so lure him in instead of chasing him away.
So there you have it ladies – some nuggets of wisdom to remember in 2015. Love life, feel inspired and see dating as a gateway to happiness rather than a hurdle that hinders you. The right guy is out there for you, so follow these rules and you just might find him…
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