How To Get More Attention When Online Dating

By: Elizabeth Marie |

attention when online dating

Picture this: You’ve worked hard on your online dating profile, making sure it’s equal parts witty and flirty, uploaded your best photos and are excited to see who you’ll meet online. You press publish, and wait…and wait…and wait. Radio silence! But why–you’re nice, pretty and normal–so why aren’t you getting any online dating attention? You’re not the only person with this problem, so we asked our Youtube online dating expert Almie to weigh in on how you can stand out even more when online dating.


This week’s reader question is all about online dating. The question is: why am I getting no attention online? I’m pretty, normal and not crazy, help?

I got you, girl. So you say you’re pretty normal and not crazy. That’s great. But have you considered, and please don’t take this the wrong way, I don’t know you. Have you considered that maybe you are boring?

The thing about online dating is that your profile has to stand out in some way and I can help you with that.

1. Make sure your online dating profile isn’t just a series of lists. For example, some dating profiles have some spots where you answer what’s your favorite movie? What’s your favorite music? I think it’s more interesting to list one or two favorites and explain why they’re your favorites, rather than just have a whole list of movies. ‘cos who feels like readying a whole list of movies? Am I right? It’s way more interesting to say something like, my favorite movie is The Royal Tenenbaums because I appreciate the humor in a dysfunctional family just like my own. Ha! Ha! Or whatever! I’m not saying you should say that. I’m just saying it’s way more interesting to take one movie rather than have a list of movies. Get it?

2. Photos are everything. You say you’re pretty and I’m going to believe you. But sometimes, being pretty just isn’t enough, sometimes you have to show personality through your photos. Show photos of you doing your hobbies. Do you play an instrument? Have a photo of you playing your instrument. Have a photo of you being goofy. Have a lot of photos too. Not so many that it seems like a museum to you but enough so that it gives the person an idea of what you look like in different situations.

3. You CAN and SHOULD make the first move. Don’t be shy. If you see a guy who you think is cute, message him and do so in a way that’s interesting. Don’t just say something like, hey, what’s up? Actually, read his profile and take something out of it to start a conversation from. For example, again , if his favorite movie is The Royal Tenenbaums, may be you could open with a quote from that movie and say something like, “That’s my favorite movie too, great pick.” Just something like that. Don’t be afraid to make the first move.

4. Use your sense of humor. When I was dating online, I had the dating name of David Bowie and a part of his anatomy, nothing lewd. But it was funny and people appreciated that sense of humor. So if you bring a sense of humor to it, you’re gonna stand out and you’re gonna show that you’re easy going and that you’re not taking this too seriously. You don’t wanna treat this like it’s a job interview. You wanna have fun with this. Have fun, use your sense of humor.

So to sum up, don’t be boring. Don’t make your profile a list of things that you like and dislike. Take a lot of different photos of yourself doing different activities, not just a bunch of selfies. Don’t be afraid to message the guy first. Excuse me, it’s hot. I’m very flustered. And finally, have a sense of humor about it and a sense of fun and you’ll find that you’ll get many more respondents this way.

Check out previous reader’s Q&A here.