An Uncensored Interview With Dating Expert Kezia Noble
By: Elizabeth Marie |
I recently had the chance to chat with Kezia Noble, the world’s leading female dating expert for men. She’s been featured on Men’s Health, Esquire, Metro and BBC Radio to name a few, so I was thrilled when she agreed to an interview. So gentleman, this one is for you! Kezia knows what men want, and she’s spilling some of her secrets with us today! Read on to find out how to bounce back from a bad date, what you should never say in your online dating profile and the best ways to make a lasting impact on a woman.
1. What can men do to make an impact in their online dating profiles? And then on a first online date?
They need to stay away from adding generic descriptions about themselves and what they like to do. Most guys will play it safe and list vague copy-cat attributes such as:
“Good sense of humour”
“I like to travel”
“I like listening to music”
This will make zero impact, and essentially men need to remember that they have to be bold enough to stick out from the crowd, especially when it comes to online dating.
Men should choose more detailed descriptions that utilise more emotional terminology rather than factual.
On the first date, many people feel very apprehensive, and unfortunately the initial concerns of meeting someone in real life for the first time is expressed all over their face, which gets the dates off on to a less than positive start. Remember that your date is probably just as nervous as you are, so make sure you’re looking totally relaxed and comfortable in the situation, because this will help to eliminate those ‘first date nerves.’ You are the man, and at the risk of sounding old fashioned, you still need to be the one taking the lead.
2. What are 3 things men commonly do wrong on a first date?
They try to ‘over please.’ This means they constantly ask if the woman is OK, and if theres anything else he can do to make the evening even more perfect. This not only devalues yourself, but when you try to ‘over please’ someone you can end up stressing them out even more.
They belittle themselves. They often will over do the whole self deprecating routine, by saying things such as: “I bet you can get any guy you want” or “ I really thought you were out of my league” This does not turn the woman on, and it does not help to build attraction at all. Women love to be adored but not when the adoration is handed on a plate to them too soon and not when it involves the other person downplaying their own self-worth.
They become ‘head nodders.’ Many many have been told for many years that they ‘need to listen more’ and although listening to the woman you’re on the date with is highly important, it does not mean that you need to agree and nod your head to every opinion she has. Women love a challenge or alternative point of view that has the ability to shift the interaction into something more intense and meaningful. So stop bending your own reality in accordance with hers, and start proving to her that you’re listening by actually responding with something that conveys your thoughts and insights.
3. Why is it so important to make an impact, and what are the best ways for a man to do so?
Making an impact is incredibly crucial. If you don’t make rapid impact with a woman, then you will never be able to seduce her. You can’t seduce anyone who is not present with you. If they are distracted or their mind is elsewhere then no matter what you do, you will not be able to seduce them. This is why I focus heavily on helping my clients to break patterns in the conversation that will successfully force her out of ‘auto pilot’ mode. You need to become her main focus very quickly, which is why I created the Groundbreaking DVD set ‘Maximum Impact ‘ these DVDs, available here, show men how to make maximum impact on both a verbal and non-verbal level.
4. Is there any recovering from a bad first date?
YES! Admitting that you both just experienced the ‘worst date ever’ will not only bring out her sense of humour (women without a sense of humour are NOT keepers by way) it will also reinforce the idea that you’re unapologetically honest about a potentially awkward situation. This not only conveys confidence, but it also takes the sting out of the predicament and as a result she will be more comfortable to give it another shot.
5. What are the key signs that a man is interested in a woman?
If he’s prepared to take the brunt of her ‘bad moods’ and oblige her demands, then you can take this as a CLEAR indicator that he’s interested in her. A man who is always prepared to walk away, might think the woman is attractive but he will not forsake his dignity and value to be with her, unless of course he’s really interested in her. A little compliancy test I use: always ask a guy to hold my handbag and coat a few times whilst I go off to talk to someone else to see if he does it or not. This tells me lot.
6. What makes the most impact on a woman-physical attraction, money, personality, chemistry?
Chemistry is the result of being able to engage a woman on a verbal and non-verbal level, and therefore having the skills to create chemistry is by far the most potent force you can inflict on someone. Men who rely on looks too much, soon find that a lesser handsome guy with confidence ,energy and quick wit will dwarf the power of his looks very quickly. Money usually signifies power, and power usually signifies confidence, but if you fail to be congruent with those attributes, then it’s game over. I always advise my clients to work on their personalities and game rather than the lifestyle they have to offer. Remember, you’re not a pension plan or holiday rep! If she wants these perks, she has to fall in love with YOU before your lifestyle.
7. How do most men feel when a woman is the aggressor or pursuer?
The vast majority of men do NOT find this a turn on. Although there are many men who are attracted to strong and confident women who know what they want, this attraction does not extend to the actual ‘seduction’ phase of the interaction/relationship.
Men want to feel like they have had to work for the prize. Anything that is handed to us on a plate is never as satisfying as the goal that we have had to work hard for , and this rule applies to bedroom department too. I believe that a woman can maintain the fact that she is head strong and alpha without letting it suffocate the romantic element of the seduction. Men like to be the hunter not the prey.
For more from Kezia, follow her on Twitter @Kezia_Noble
Image courtesy of Kezia-Noble.com