Want A Happy Sex Life? Try Cuddling A Little More

By: Jess Downey |

When most people think of good sex, they think about the act itself. You know, how it feels, how long it lasts, how adventurous it is, and how many positions you used. But what if I told you that cuddling after sex also can have a huge impact on your satisfaction as well?

I swear I didn’t make it up. According to a study I just heard about, it’s absolutely true.

University of Toronto Mississauga sexuality and relationship researcher Amy Muise conducted a two-part study where she gathered data from an online survey of 335 individuals, and a 21-day survey of 101 couples. Muise tested the correlation between post-sex affectionate behavior (such as kissing, caressing and loving talk) and sexual and relationship satisfaction.

In the online survey, participants reported that they engaged in affectionate behavior for an average of 15 minutes after sex. In the second study, couples were asked to cuddle for a longer than average duration. Muise’s research showed that couples who spent extra time together reported feeling more satisfied with both their sex lives and their relationship with their partner. The afterglow of post-sex affection proved to be long lasting for couples, with participants reporting higher levels of satisfaction with their sex lives and relationships in a follow-up survey conducted three months later.

Muise’s research found that engaging in post-sex affection, such as kissing, cuddling or affectionate talk, promoted bonding and sexual satisfaction, regardless of the frequency of intercourse.

I confess, I tend to be one of those people that measures sexual satisfaction with how good the sex is (and how often we’re having it). I truly do believe these things are still important. I don’t know if I can get on board with the idea that cuddling after non-enjoyable sex or if you’re only cuddling that you will be totally satisfied. I think that sex is still an important factor and we shouldn’t totally discount that.

But I do agree that we shouldn’t underestimate the importance (and power) of cuddling either. I’m not afraid to admit that cuddling after sex is pretty awesome. It’s a way to bond with your partner. To have a little moment just between the two of you. It’s a form of intimacy. Sometimes it gives you the warm fuzzies that you had at the start of your relationship. So it’s not that crazy of an idea to think that it would raise your level of satisfaction.

And, I think when you’re in a relationship it’s sometimes hard to fit in those little moments. I also think that it’s easy to think things are great (sexually speaking) as long as you’re having sex on a regular basis. So the cuddling and stuff kind of gets left out because it seems irrelevant. But I don’t think that’s necessarily true. Intimacy in general is also an important factor.

I really think this study could be on to something though. In fact, I think we should all give it a try and see what happens. I mean, even if it’s nonsense, there are worse things than having to cuddle for a few extra minutes, right?