On Meeting The Mystery Man-A Follow Up

By: Elizabeth Marie |

Big news, people…big news. 

I finally met The Mystery Man.   Remember him? “D”, the guy who was so perfect behind his computer screen, but would always cancel on dates and was too busy to make plans? Though the chance of a romantic spark faded along time ago, we’ve continued to stay friendly via Twitter and Facebook, with the occasional text message or phone conversation thrown in for good measure.  I’d all but completely resigned to the fact that I would never meet my “friend” in real life.

Until I did.

I knew I was going to be in his neck of the woods for a work meeting, and casually mentioned it to him in a text.  I expected the usual-excitement, eagerness to make plans, and then the standard “SO sorry, I am so busy today I can’t make it” excuse ten minutes before he was supposed to arrive.  I didn’t wait for him to order my coffee, and held my phone in my hand expecting his cancellation text.  It didn’t come.  Instead, when I looked at my phone it said “Just left the office. Be there in ten.”

I was floored.

I wasn’t nervous-as I said in my last post on the mystery man subject, a man who takes 3 years to get something done isn’t attractive to me in the slightest.  I was excited to meet him though, finally…after talking to someone virtually for so long, I felt like I knew him-when in reality, I knew nothing about him at all. There was also a sense of relief that I could finally close the door on the whole “mystery man” thing-I considered D a friend, and it can be hard when a friend won’t give you the time of day, literally.

When he arrived, it was just like seeing an old friend for the first time in a while.  There was no awkwardness, or first date jitters-while this was most definitely NOT a date, first meetings are always a bit nerve wracking.  We immediately fell into a friendly conversation, and I told him all about my new job, my boyfriend and listened while he filled me in on his girlfriend and the awesome apartment he’d moved to. I finally asked him why on earth he hadn’t met me sooner, and why, if he didn’t want to meet a girl, was he online dating in the first place?

“I wanted to” he said.  “I wanted to put myself out there and meet new girls like you.  But I was so in love with my best friend, I felt like it was the wrong thing to do.  I was scared I would meet you, because I knew I’d probably end up hurting you.”

I respected his answer.  And his new girlfriend? She’s the best friend he was so in love with, so it all worked out.

This whole fiasco with D has reminded that even online, people should be given the benefit of the doubt.  It’s easy to write off guys who act like D as “players” and the like, when in reality, he was just trying to find his way. It’s easy to label people as bad and good, but in reality, there’s a whole lot of grey area.

Kumbaya and hugs all around, kiddos.