How To Write A Great First Online Dating Message

By: Elizabeth Marie |


You know how it goes…browsing through dating profiles, you click on an attractive photo and find yourself reading the profile of someone you would really like to get to know. Instead of just hoping and praying that he or she writes to you out of the blue, you decide to take matters into your own hands, and write to them. You want to stand out from the crowd, yet be short and sweet…with the end goal being an email back from them. Here’s how to ensure your email doesn’t get sent to the trash bin.


1. Don’t Sound Generic.
“Hey, how are you? What do you do for fun?” emails are a dime a dozen. It might seem like you are trying to appear interested, but it just sounds horribly generic. Instead of asking a broad question like what they do for fun, focus on something they mentioned in their profile and ask specific questions about it. Showing you were interested enough to read their profile is a huge turn on, and emphasizing your shared interests is a great starting point to get a conversation rolling.

2. Don’t Give Away Everything.
When writing an initial email, keep it short, sweet and alluring. Leave them wanting more! Don’t include your entire dating history, or every detail of what you are looking for in a mate. Leave your tone light and fun-trust me, if you start dating, there will be plenty of time for the heavy, dramatic relationship talks.

3. Ask The Right Questions.
As with #1, focus on what attracted you to them in the first place. Both of you love skiing? Perfect! Ask about their favorite place to ski, or what brand of boots they use. Travel is a great topic as well-it’s so fun to bond over shared experiences in foreign lands. Don’t ask about previous online dates or anything too personal. This is a chance for you to see if there is a need to take it further-possibly to a face to face date! Always end your email with a question-it increases the chance of a speedy response. 🙂