Can You Have Your Cake {and eat it too?}

By: Elizabeth Marie |

While having drinks with a good friend the other night, she asked me this question-“Is it possible to casually date while looking for something serious?”

Meaning-can I have my cake and eat it too? Can I have it ALL?She told me her master plan-she would divide up her time between “fun” dates, and more serious dates.  If she had an itch, she would certainly get it scratched, but still keep herself open to a long term relationship.

I told her this was a bad idea. Why?

When she’s scheduling one or two casual dates on Wednesday and Saturday nights, between her job, her friends, her life, when exactly would she have time to meet guys who are interested in something serious…she wouldn’t.  Not only is it time consuming, it’s confusing for her heart.  In order for her to date two different types of guys, she would have to be two different types of women to please them.When getting ready for a date, she’d have to remember what role to play, instead of just being her fabulous self.

Instead of trying to do both, I told her to own it.  Own it if she doesn’t want anything serious, or own it if she does, but don’t try to have it all. It was important for her to define what she truly wants right now, and go after it…one way or the other.

It’s important to recognize where you are in life, and then be there 100%. For a lot of people, casual dating is a stage of life, not a destination.  Maybe you’ve just ended a serious relationship, or have a very busy work schedule that doesn’t allow time for something long term, but you still want some affection and companionship. Don’t try to force yourself into thinking a serious relationship is what you “should” be doing just because society thinks so-give society the middle finger, and do what’s right for YOU!

P.S Have you checked out the giveaway from We Love Dates yet?!