my honest answer is the younger, funnier sister of the agony aunt of yesteryear. Your questions on love, parenting, death, and everything in between, receive the kind of straight-talking advice your best friend would give you. If only she had the guts.

Question: How do I get over a broken heart?

my honest answer: That definitely wins the prize for shortest question ever on myhonestanswer.com. There have been a few contenders lately, but, for the moment, this one takes the crown.

Since you’ve given no specifics, I’m going to have to be very general in my answer too.

And, breaking my own First Rule of Opening my Mouth, I’m going to start with the biggest cliché of all. Anyone guessed what that is yet? Yep, you got it: time is the best healer. But, the reason this phrase is so over-used is because it is true. Some feelings never go away, but time is the one consistent element that does make loss, grief, sadness, embarrassment – almost any overwhelming emotion you can name, in fact – less raw, and more bearable.

But, of course, you can’t fast-forward to a time when it won’t hurt so much. So, in the meantime, here are my suggestions:

1) Carry on with your important day to day responsibilities as normal – go to work, help people out if you’ve agreed to, put your garbage out on the right day. These things are necessary, and they will distract you, even though only temporarily. They will also stop your neighbours calling the police, or worse, your mother, to check you’re still alive.

2) But other than that, mope if you want to. Sit about in your pyjamas, watch re-runs of ‘Friends’ and ‘Frasier’. Listen to REM; sing along to ‘All By Myself’ à la everyone’s favourite singleton, Bridget Jones. Cry at will. Obviously you don’t want to sink into a deep pit of despair, so for this reason, I’d put a self-imposed time limit on it. Give yourself a week where you don’t have to do anything else beside the basics to get the rent paid and not be a blight on your neighbourhood. But at home, let things slip. Watch the dirty washing pile up, let the kitchen floor go un-mopped. Don’t shower unless you’re going out of the house. Wallow. Really, it serves a purpose.

3) Once you’re through this immediate period of broken-heartedness, make a genuine effort to pick yourself up. The mountain of dirty laundry will help you out here by giving you something to focus on, a concrete task to get done. Start by having a long shower, and then clean up the house. It will make you feel better for two reasons: it will be a tangible sign that you are moving forward, and it will give you a real sense of accomplishment when everything looks neat and tidy again. This would also be a good time for a bit of a purge – nothing drastic, but getting rid of a little clutter always makes you feel lighter and freer. Just don’t make any rash decisions about throwing out gifts / photos / bodyparts belonging to The Ex. Yes, you can call them The Ex. But only for two months, max.

4) Then, make an effort to look after yourself. Go out and buy lovely, fresh, expensive food, and treat yourself to a really healthy few weeks. Buy those exotic foods you never buy because they are too pricey. Just don’t fall into the ‘I deserve a donut’ trap. Getting fat will only depress you even more. When I say treat yourself, I mean treat yourself WELL, which is a totally different thing from indulging yourself. Take a walk. Getting a bit of fresh air and exercise does wonders for your mental health.

5) When you’re feeling more human, revisit the things you enjoyed when you were single that you missed out on whilst you were coupled. It will make you feel better about the relationship ending. Were there any TV shows your partner hated? Anything they point-blank wouldn’t do with you? Go to a football game? Watch a Shakespeare play? Allow you to pick your feet at the dinner table? Well, go and do it now. Try to see this period as the start of something new, rather than just the end of something. But be careful not to automatically look up friends whom you dropped like hot potatoes the second you got a date. No-one likes to feel like a stop-gap friend, useful between romances, if at all. And nothing makes you feel more like that than being the first phone call of the newly single.

6) Also, this is a great time to reassess your life: your job, your living arrangements, your hopes, dreams and goals. Was there something you wanted to do that The Ex was holding you back from? Have you realised that you were living too much for them, and not enough for you? Or have you discovered that the relationship’s demise was more than a little because of you’re self-centred streak? Think these things through. But, this is NOT the time for rash decisions. If you decide you want to quit your job, move locations, or join a monastery, by all means do some research. You could even make a theoretical action plan. But don’t commit to anything significant (including new lovers) for a few months. Give yourself time to get over the shock. Remind yourself that if you want it so bad now, you’ll still want it in a few months. And you’ll be less likely to sign up for a lifetime of chastity when you’ve gone a few months without sex, too. Bonus.

7) And if, at any time, it feels totally overwhelming, beyond the point where you can buck yourself up and get into work, get some help. While it’s fine to revel in the misery for a few weeks, anything longer might require a bit of a push to shake you free of those feelings. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
And, finally, remember the best bit about breaking up.

Now you get to fall in love all over again.

How To Deal With A Break-up is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog

In other words, you can’t help it. You think of them, you want them, you’re sad…. and it’s not your fault. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the person was right for you, or that ending your relationship was the wrong decision. What it does mean is that you have to be extra kind to yourself in allowing time to get over your break up. Here are some tips to making the transition from “broken up” to “moved past it” a bit smoother.

Give it Time!

The first time that recently broken up folks tend to do is try and either get back with their ex or move on immediately to someone else. The problem with getting back with the person (who is probably feeling just as badly as you are) is that there was a reason you broke up. You aren’t right for each other. So try and avoid this unless you really, really believe ending your relationship was a huge mistake.

Moving on to someone else might seem like a good idea, but the problem with that is your brain needs time to process your break up. You need time to fully get over your ex relationship, so you don’t bring all the baggage and hurt into your new one. Think of spending some time alone as a way to way to make sure your very best self is available to meet the right person this time.

Don’t Second Guess Your Decision

While you might want to believe that you are “undateable” now that someone has dumped you, don’t get caught up in this thinking. Getting dumped is no personal reflection on you at all, rather, it simply means that you and your ex would be better with other people.

Be Good to Yourself

Many people spend some time after a break up crying and not eating right. If you’re sad, let your emotions out. But also remember to exercise, eat right, and spend time with friends. In short, be good to yourself! A break up doesn’t define you, so make sure you take care to get your bearings again before heading off into the dating world.

You’re Not Crazy, Getting Dumped is as Bad as Giving Up Drugs is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog