Please believe me when I say that the reason why you are single has nothing to do with how you look. Take it from me, I know.

This is why you’re single:

*you’re too picky. You expect Prince Charming, when you’re more of an ugly stepsister.  You’re 5’2 and you won’t consider dating anyone shorter then 6′. You just have a thing for blonde, blue eyed tennis players who do their laundry on Tuesdays.

*you’re not a nice person. Maybe you’re bitter or generally unpleasant. You have an attitude. Maybe someone broke your heart horribly 5 years ago and it jaded you. You think all men are dogs and all women are bitches. It shows.

*you expect instant gratification. You finally make the decision to pay for an online dating site or just start a profile and you are upset when said Prince Charming has not knocked on your door in week 1. It upsets you when no one has messaged you in 3 weeks and so you write the whole thing off as a failure.

*you cannot be bothered to write your profile. Or post photos. You feel it’s not important. Your lack of effort makes you look lazy and uninterested. Also, uninteresting. You refuse to email anyone – they should come to you, right? Wrong. So wrong. You’re all there for the same reason. Put your best foot forward, please.

*online dating scares you, but you like the attention from the opposite sex. So you email back and forth. You talk on the phone. Texting. But you delay the actual meet. You never meet. You have glorified pen pals, basically.

*you feel you are unworthy of love. You’ll find someone when you lose that extra weight. Or get a better job. Or whatever is it that you think is holding you back. The only thing holding you back is you, sweetheart. There is someone out there for the you that you are right now. You are worthy, right now.

Reasons Why You’re Still Single-From an online dating site employee who REALLY knows! is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog

Greetings, We Love Date-ians! It’s singlegirlie here from Single Girl Blogging. It’s my first post here on this lovely site and I’m tickled hot pink.

I asked my Twitter followers what topics they’d like to read about on an online dating site’s blog, and one jovial chap replied, “How about how to get a fuckin’ response?”

I thought such a spirited request deserved some recognition, and thus the topic of this post was born. (I modified the F-word in the title, so as not to get you fired should your boss walk by. See? I got your back.)

As you may already know, girls on online dating sites receive far more messages than their male counterparts. So sometimes you’re just not going to get a reply, and that’s the deal. Maybe you’re not her type, maybe she’s met someone, maybe she took some really bad acid and is now only attracted to horses. No need to be bitter, just move on.

But, while it is important to remember that not everyone will respond, I can offer some tips to give you an edge over the poor sap who is at this moment hitting “refresh” on his inbox again instead of doing something productive like reading this helpful blog.

Your Message Matters

Most people understand how important first impressions are, so I’m always puzzled at the number of messages I receive that stimulate my gag reflex.

There are three types of e-mails that women see more often than not. These make me want to just throw in the towel and stop shaving my legs permanently.

1. The Quickie.
The quickie generally consists of less than three words. Examples include:

a) Hey, wut up?
b) Hi (insert generic smiley face/wink)
c) You’re pretty.

Messages like these a) give me nothing to respond to and b) make me think you are a dumb git with nothing to say. Please, write at least three sentences so that we know you are literate.

2. The Almanac.
While the three-word message is far more common, every now and then someone takes the opposite route and writes a master’s thesis. In this case, I may not think you stupid, but an overzealous nut with too much time on his hands. I don’t need a full bio. Keep it to one short paragraph — more than three words, less than the full Harry Potter series.

3. The Copy & Paste.
Some men type out a couple generic paragraphs describing who they are, then copy and paste it into every message they send. I can spot these a mile away, and I envision you sending it to 30 women a day. These are so devoid of charm you sound like a robot. And I imagine robot penises to be uncomfortable, so I delete.

Alright, bitch, what should I write?

I’m so glad you asked! Picture this: you’re browsing through profiles when you come across the girl of your dreams. Hopefully you’ve looked beyond her rack and actually read her profile. This is a tip, in fact: read her profile. This will give you some guidance when crafting a message to her. Bring up something she wrote in her profile that piqued your interest. Example:

“Hi there. Wanted to pop by and say hello. I see you like camping. Have you ever been to Lake Makahooky? It’s really beautiful. I went last year and actually spotted a Moose! What are some other great spots you’ve visited?”

This works because a) you’re letting her know you looked at more than her photos, b) you asked a couple questions, which gives her something to reply to, and c) you are talking about a subject you know she likes.

It’s simple if you think about it. It just takes a small amount of effort, and isn’t it worth it for the girl of your dreams? Or, as my follower put it, a fuckin’ response?

However, you’re not done yet. Even more important than your message is your profile. But I’m over my word count, so if you want to know what a good online dating profile looks like, mosey on over to my blog and read the post I wrote about it here.

Questions? Write ‘em down in the comments and I’ll do my best to reply. See? You can get a girl to respond on an online dating site. Cheerio!

How To Get a Friggin Response is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog

It’s first date time, and you’re so excited!  You’ve been talking online for awhile and can’t wait to meet in person.  The last thing you want to do is ruin the date,  so we’ve compiled a list of the top ten worst things you can do on a first date to help you out.

1. Look just like your photo, but 10 years older.
Guess what?! Yep, you were a total hottie ten years ago (we all were) but you  really don’t look like that anymore, and posting old photos screams dishonesty and low self esteem.  Plus, no matter how attractive you are now, by posting those photos you’re basically asking for your date to be disappointed when you show up.

2. Flirt with someone other than your date.
Hey, I get it-sometimes your waitress or bartender is really hot and it’s not your fault that they’re coming on to you, but focus your attention on the person you’re with. Who wants to go on a date with someone who is flirting with or checking out other people?  You can always sneak back to the bar later-just kidding.

3. Manners?  What manners?
Curse like a sailor, forget to say please and thank you, be rude to the service staff, chew with your mouth open, burp, slurp and shove food in your mouth like you haven’t eaten in days…god I am so turned on just thinking about it, aren’t you?

4. Tell a woman that she reminds you of your mother, or a guy that he is JUST like your daddy!
Most of us love our parents to the moon and back, but comparing our dates to them alludes to the fact that you’re searching for a mother or father figure, and nobody wants that responsibility. Yay mommy and daddy issues!

5. Keep using your cell phone
Have you ever tried having a conversation with someone who is repeatedly texting or talking on their phone? “Oh sorry, hold on- tell me that funny, personal, deeply touching story in a sec. I just need to answer this call.”

6. Talk too much about your pet
Like most people who love their animals, words cannot describe how much I adore my little chihuahua Bella. I’m borderline obsessed with her, but I keep it under wraps. I don’t carry around photos of her, or talk about the latest disgusting thing she did. Don’t be the crazy dog or cat lady (or guy!)

7. Ask them how much money they make
You might as well get a tattoo that says “GOLD DIGGER” across your forehead, because even if you swear that’s not how you meant it, of course it is.

8.  Proudly mention how much progress you’re making in therapy
Nothing wrong with a good therapy session, don’t get me wrong. But save the shrink talk for your inner circle, not some dude you just met on the internet.

9. Bring up your ex
Eagerly discuss how your date reminds you of your ex, the restaurant reminds you of your ex, the music playing in the background reminds you of your ex. Bonus points if you rehash your break-up in great detail.

10. Drink so much that your date has to take care of you. Extra points if you do any of the following-
Vomit
Black out
Start a bar fight

Happy dating!

Top Ten Ways To Ruin a First Date is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog

Video Post-First Date Do’s and Don’ts is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog

I had the biggest and admittedly-desperate-crush on my classmate Ryan in high school.  He was so handsome, always told funny jokes in class and seemed like such a great guy.

Key word?  Seemed.  Because in the four plus years that we went to school together, I never once spoke one word to him.  Of course, this didn’t stop me from telling anyone who would listen about how much I “loved” him, or how much I wished he would invite me to the prom. Spoiler alert! He didn’t!

So what does this have to do with you?

Fast forward ten or so years , we’re all adults now, and Ryan is one of my closest friends, although there is NO sexual attraction whatsoever…I honestly believe I used to be so intimidated around him!  The reason I couldn’t utter a word to him in high school is because even without knowing much about him, I placed the idea of him on a pedastal.  I had this preconceived notion of who he was in my mind, and basically wrote off the chance that this amazing-wonderful-prince charming of a guy would ever be interested in little old me.  I forgot that underneath the lettermans jacket and great head of hair, Ryan was just a semi dorky high school kid…I forgot that he was human.

Now, don’t a lot of us do that with online dating? You start emailing back and forth with someone, and after looking at their photos you begin to construct an idea of what they are like in real life. Maybe you think “Oh, she’s too pretty for a guy like me” or “He seems like he wouldn’t like me at all”…  It’s almost like you know them, but without ever meeting them, right? And without giving them a chance, you shoot down the possibility of any kind of romantic connection.

Here’s what I want you to do!  Stop that!  When you look at a photo of someone you find deliciously attractive, instead of pyching yourself out or putting yourself down, remember that he or she is just a person…a person who signed up for an online dating site…you know, a person just like you.

And consider this-for every person who you think is out of your league, there are just as many people looking at your photos and thinking the same about you.  Remember that no matter how physically attractive someone might be, confidence is the sexiest quality of them all.

image via

Going Beyond The Profile Picture-Why You Should Stop Judging a Book By It’s Cover is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog

Dating Profile Dealbreakers is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog

Sounds sexy, right? Wrong.

So how do you know if you’re a stage 5 clinger?

You’re a cyber stalker-do you find yourself constantly refreshing his or her facebook or twitter pages?  Do you check out all their friends photos and get jealous over things posted on their walls? Do you show up to the places they checked into on Foursquare?  If yes…congratulations..you might be a stalker.  Step away from the Internet, get some fresh air and stop being a creep!

You’re attached to your phone-if you find yourself hitting redial for hours upon hours  or calling them from blocked numbers so they can’t screen your call, you’re a clinger.  If you are constantly checking to see if they’ve contacted you, and become so obsessed with hearing from them that you can’t function, you’re definitely a clinger.  Remember-if someone wants to talk to you, they will. And nobody wants to talk to a psycho.

You’re a total guilt trip-if you try to guilt someone into spending time with you, or pull stunts so they will feel obligated to be a part of your life, you’re forcing them to be there-and that’s ultimately not what you want.   Don’t be a drama queen…you shouldn’t have to guilt anyone into being with you.

You embellish about our relationship, or lack of one-do you tell people you’re dating someone, when in reality he’s never spoken a word to you?  Pretending something is more than it is not only makes you look incredibly shady, but it’s a bit delusional and doesn’t do you any good in the long run.  Plus, you’re blowing your chances from the beginning if he finds out you’ve been spreading stories.  Let things develop-you can’t force anything, no matter how badly you want to.

Are You A Stage 5 Clinger? is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog

Like what? Well, I’m so glad you asked!

A Picnic!  Don’t start laughing…a picnic is actually my favorite date idea.  You don’t have to sit in a crowded bar or restaurant, and you decide how much you want to spend on what you put in the basket.  Picnics can be as elaborate or casual as you’d like-grab two sandwiches and a six pack from the deli, or pack a fancy 4 course lunch.

Dive Bar/Local Pub-Forget the expensive wine bars.  Hit up a low key pub and throw a few back and have a few laughs.  Mess around with the jukebox, or play pool and darts.  This is a great idea if you are meeting each others friends for the first time, too.

Indulge Your Sweet Tooth-Maybe it’s because I have a ridiculous sweet tooth, but I’d much rather eat peanut butter and jelly at home for dinner and then go out for dessert than spend money on an entire meal.  Plus, it’s a bit sexy to meet up later in the evening and share some chocolate…

Get Lost-A guy took me on a fabulous  date once with absolutely NO plan.  We parked in an area of town that looked like fun, and explored the funky shops, yummy restaurants and people watched.  Sometimes, you just gotta see where the wind blows you.  Obviously, for my OCD lovers, this one could be quite the stretch.  Loosen up!

Get Sweaty (No, not like that!) Ok, so maybe wearing gym clothes and getting all sweaty in front of your date isn’t your idea of a good time, but being active together is actually quite romantic.  I’m not suggesting you hit up his and her treadmills, but something like a beautiful hike, rock climbing, or running on the beach would get your blood pumping, competitive spirit running, and would be a great way to kick off a relationship.  It’s about fun, not money.

Cheap Date Ideas is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog

In “real life” I was raised to believe that guys should always make the first move.  That if he likes you, he’ll call you, message in a bottle you, stand outside of your bedroom holding a boombox playing a terribly emo romantic song.  Obviously, I’ve seen one too many 80s movies.  I was under the impression that if I reached out to a guy first, that it meant I was desperate, or some slutball.  Yes, I just made up that word.

Back to the internet…guys started emailing me alright, but none of the ones I was interested in meeting.  I realized I could wait and hope, or I could take my fate in my own very capable hands and do something about it.  I wasn’t afraid of rejection from some stranger I’d never met-I was more afraid he would think I was some clingy, needy, crazy woman…simply because I sent an email saying “hi.”

As it goes online, some guys wrote me back.  Some didn’t.   I started noticing that every guy I was really interested in was one I had initiated contact with, and I began feeling in control of my destiny and fate-and that was a very sexy feeling.  It’s quite a confidence builder to feel like you can choose who you want to date, rather than being at the whim of whoever contacts you-because what if he doesn’t?  Seriously, some men forget to change their boxers on a daily basis-can they really be trusted with holding your entire romantic future in their hands?

For some reason, women can do it all these days-except ask a guy out for lunch.  While I definitely don’t suggest women should chase men around begging for a wedding ring  or act like a stage five clinger, if you want to get to know a guy, by all means-make the first move to get to know him! Put yourself out there and take control of your heart.  Not only will you be happier with the results, you’ll feel like a bad-ass, in control chick-and what man on earth could resist that?!

There’s no use in waiting by the phone, when you can pick it up yourself.

Why Girls Should Make The First Move is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog

When you’re dating, especially online dating, it can seem like one big, fat douchebag parade.  Sure, you’re meeting a lot of guys, but are they quality guys?  Not usually right?  They’re looking for an easy hook-up, or expect you to send them a bunch of scandalous photos before you’ve even met them in person.  Or, they have a girlfriend or a wife…it goes on and on. It’s easy to get discouraged by guys like this.  It’s easy to rip down your online dating profile and declare “there are NO more nice guys” and resign yourself to a life of singledom with your cat.

But what about the nice guys?  The ones who are usually overlooked and under appreciated? The ones who are quickly friend-zoned because they aren’t as exciting or “dangerous” as the other guys.  The ones who might be right under your nose, if you’d take a moment to notice.

Let’s hear it for…

The guys who aren’t just looking for a booty call.  The guys who ask the right questions and actually care about your answer.  The men who are interested in more than just our bra sizes, and who think that intelligence is sexy, not scary.   The guy who listens to you complain about everything, and always tries to put a smile back on your face.

The guy who opens doors, walks on the side of the street closest to the traffic,  pays for your coffee…and is a shining example that chivalry is not, in fact, dead.  The guy who hangs out with your annoying girlfriends simply because they mean a lot to you…and you mean a lot to him. The guy who gets nervous around you, and is a bit shy.  The guy who plays with your puppy and tries to impress your father.  The guy who wants to keep getting to know everything about you.

The man who brings you medicine when you’re sick, and includes some ice cream and trashy gossip magazines in the care package.  The man who listens to you cry when another guy has broken your heart.  The man who is unsure if he should fight for your love and heart because, you know, he’s a NICE guy.

The guy who loves you for who you are inside-not just what you look like.  The man who deserves a chance.  The man who will probably surprise you, if you let him.   The man who won’t cheat, won’t play with your feelings and is nothing but honest and loyal.

Yes, let’s hear it for the nice guys out there. xoxo

Ode To The Nice Guys is a post from the: WeLoveDates online dating blog