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Confessions of a Former Serial Online Dater: First Date Routines

By: Kevin Murray |

online dating1When I started online dating in the year 2003, all my friends made fun of me saying things such as: “bro, what are you doing that for – there’s a bunch of weirdo’s on there.” Well, what these guys didn’t understand is I needed online dating for practice. Yes, practice. At the time I’d been in a relationship for four years from the age of 18 to 22. The years I should have been experimenting and learning about myself I spent devoted to only one person. By the time I got out of this relationship, I had no friggin clue what I was doing. I could barley approach women at a bar, let alone speak to them when I had them in a one-on-one situation. So I went out on a limb and decided it was time from some practice dates. Little did I know these “practice dates” would lead me on a wild 10 year odyssey beyond anything I could’ve ever imagined.

Throughout the years of online dating I developed sort of traditions I would do on first dates. These routines were developed overtime – they weren’t superstitions per say, but it was rare when I didn’t partake in all of them.

Drink two Bud lights while getting ready.

By no means am I advising drinking and driving, but crushing a few BL’s while you get ready for a date isn’t a problem. I never felt the need to drink because I was nervous – it was more because I was too jacked up for the date. The alcohol was used as means of chilling me out. Plus, if my date sucked I was already two beers deep so it was easier to drink her away.

Show up 10 minutes late.

Hey, there’s a valid reason for this douche-bag move of a showing up late tradition – kind of. When I first started online dating I would have all my dates meet me a TGI Friday’s down the street from my house. And by down the street, I mean all I had to do was virtually drive 30 seconds across Target and Baby’s R Us parking lot and I was there. However, my dates didn’t know this and I’d just drink on the couch at my house and waited till they call. Once they were there, I would say I’m “on my way” and finish up my last drink and leave. I liked not showing up to a bar first and continued this tradition of tardiness for the rest of my online dating career (sorry ladies – it’s not you, it’s me).

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Always hug when first meeting.

Let’s set the tone for how this relationship is right away – with a solid ass-out hug. In all seriousness, this isn’t a business meeting – let’s not treat it like one. Remember, you’re trying to court this person romantically. Kicking off a first impression with a hand shake is a no-no. Cool your jets though, don’t creepily hug her like you haven’t touched a chick in years – they don’t like that.

Have good prepared story that you can nail on cue.

When I first started dating I worked at the YMCA. This resulted in many of my stories being about how I was molding young minds and raising the youth of America. However, it was more like teaching all the kids to say “dude” and influencing them to develop a major Boston Sports addiction – I digress. My larger point is, you should have a good go to story that will paint you in a positive light with humors elements included – not saying you need to write a script, but if you’re new to dating and feel like you’re looking up you can use this story as your go to awkward silence saver.

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If I’m attracted to her I’ll use my cell phone to turn up the heat.

A well timed text (when she goes to the bathroom) can really shift gears on this date fast – there’s no problem getting a little help from your mobile wingman. Sending a cute text such as “You look great tonight;)” can get the sexual body language turned up a notch. Watch how she acts when she comes back to you. A coy smile with her positively acknowledging your text can be your avenue to stop playing patty cake and take this date to the next level.

Always close the date with a kiss if the opportunity presents its self.

Wait, kiss on the first date? Yes, hell yes. If you have good chemistry with someone and you’re clearly attracted to each other – go for it. After going on so many online dates, I was able to have a better gauge of who I would have good chemistry with prior to meeting them. Needless to say my percentage of kissing on the first date was pretty high. Go big or go home.