August 22nd, 2013 by Len Cruz

Post-Divorce Dilemma: How To Know If You’re In A Rebound Relationship

rebound-relationshipsPreparing for your dating life after divorce by losing weight or having a new haircut are the least things you should worry about. Topping the list would be emotional and mental preparedness. After you’ve conquered that, then you can start bringing sexy back.

Honestly, clearly knowing whether you are in a rebound relationship or not is a tad bit difficult. Emotions are highly tricky human state of mind. But like everything else, there are significant signs that will make you stop, think, rethink and think some more if you’re in a relationship that’s for keeps or merely a miss.

There’s no reason to remain single unless you choose to; but, there are some reasons why you should remain unattached for awhile especially if you’re doing these relationship red flags:

The Copycat

Put a break from dating if you catch yourself looking for someone who has similar traits – whether unknowingly or deliberate – as your ex.  A sure sign is if you are in a relationship with someone who is a doppelganger of your ex. That’s a little creepy, by the way.

In A Rush

Give yourself some time to go through the different stages of grief. According to the Kübler-Ross model, there are five stages, namely: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Let’s try to put them in a simpler context through some appropriate examples.

Denial – is the stage wherein deep, deep down, you are hoping that you will get back together. This is the reason why you haven’t pawned your wedding and engagement rings yet.

Anger – is the stage wherein you burn your ex-husband’s personal belongings while chanting “die, bastard, die!” and seeking the help of a voodoo woman to cast an evil spell on him.

Bargaining – “I will never, ever (cross my heart and hope to die) try to poison my neighbor’s irritatingly noisy cat dear God, just as long as you give my husband back to me! Amen.”

Depression – three pints of Ben & Jerry’s, two bags of Cheetos and one box of Kleenex. ‘Nuff said.

Acceptance – a stage wherein you won’t hide behind racks of clothing when you see your ex-husband and his hot (we’re talking Sports Illustrated type of hotness factor here) new love slave at the mall. Acceptance is being able to say “I’m happy for the two of you” without suffering a cerebral aneurysm afterwards.  If you haven’t reached the last stage yet, it’s better to stay home for awhile and fix yourself.

Relationship as a cure

Jumping into a new relationship is not a cure for a broken heart nor loneliness…….no matter how handsome the guy is. It just isn’t. Being in a relationship for the sole purpose of distracting yourself from your ex is very unfair to both you and your partner. It may bring you joy in the beginning, but it may cause you more tears in the end. Just wait awhile. Good things come to those who wait.

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Len is the delusional brains behind the lifestyle, parenting, and fashion site: She believes that words are meaningless unless they are used for the good kind of change.

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