February 18th, 2011 by Elizabeth Marie

How To Ask A Girl Out

How to ask a girl out in 4 easy steps! :) Of course not every woman is the same, but I’d guess that most of us ladies have a few things in common when we’re deciding whether or not to go out with someone.  Hint fellas…it’s not about money, or what kind of car you drive. Hell, it’s not really even about what you look like-although sexual attraction DOES matter.

This might seem extremely basic, but I can’t count how many times my guy friends have thought a girl was out of their league, or just been to nervous to even ask her out. You won’t know unless you try, and while putting yourself out there is scary…so is the threat of living a lonely life, right?! RIGHT. You never know, she could be hoping you get the nerve to ask her out finally. Don’t psych yourself out, guys!

2. Be Interested In More Than Just Her Looks.
Like I said, physical and sexual attraction is key. Most first dates are based on this, and that is fine. I’m just saying that when you do ask her out-ask about her day, as well…or something. Show that you’re interested in more than just her pretty face or hot body-girls like this kind of stuff. Trust me-I am one.

3. Confidence!
This is the magic word…I believe that with confidence( NOT arrogance), you can get any girl in the world to go out with you! Women are attracted to confident men for a multitude of reasons. For me, I like confidence because it makes me feel safe and also challenges me to be confident in myself. It’s just a sexy trait to have-and that is why no matter what you look like or how much money you make, if you’re confident in who you are, it won’t matter.

4. Be Persistent…Not Creepy.
Some girls say no right away, to just about anyone. I don’t really understand this game, but I do like to see that a guy is genuinely interested in ME, and not just getting laid. I might give him a hard time, or play a little hard to get-just to see if he’ll be persistent. I might get a lot of men not liking this…but women like to be chased, just a bit. And hopefully, she’s worth it. Also-persistent does not mean sitting outside her house or work, or being rude and aggressive. No means no, and use your head-creepy isn’t a good look on you. You should be able to tell the difference between flirting and a hardcore she’s just not that into you scenario.

Hopefully, she’s just flirting though :)


Liz is We Love Dates social media manager. A former marketing account executive in the fashion industry, a bad breakup spurred Liz to start her first blog 5 years ago and she has been happily over-sharing with anyone who will read ever since. Obsessed with all things dating, love and tech, Liz has been referred to as the brunette Carrie Bradshaw on more than one occasion. If it's a day that ends in "Y", most likely you will find Liz furiously typing away on her laptop with a huge espresso nearby. Or two. Follow her every thought on Twitter and Google+.

19 Responses to “How To Ask A Girl Out”

  1. February 21, 2011 at 8:41 am, kim said:

    Ok! Although, I agree with you… I must add the following just incase a man is reading…we need to make sure he doesn’t misunderstand “be persistent “!!! It has been my experience with my past relationships that guys think that this means something different than what women do! If a girl says no over and over, good chance that she is not interested and really means NO! There is nothing better of a turn off than a guy that has no backbone and confidence to say “forget her”!

    A women wants a man that that’s charge and knows his worth! No guys that doesn’t mean a dating every girl you see or treating the girl as if she is less than you! You shouldn’t carry a mirror around with you but you should take a peek in it when you pass one!

    Why do we as women play games? In the blog you wrote you don’t understand why some women decline a date even though they really want to go! Truth is this is true! Women (not all) some women play games and act interested when they aren’t to have a fallback guy if she can’t find anyone else! It drives me crazy and im not even a guy! Don’t play games because of you we have men asking us out and even when we say no thank you…they think we are playing hard to get! Which in the long run hurts both parties because eventually you have to say “NO dummy” I don’t like you!save us all the trouble and stop playing games!

    Women know after the first five minutes if they are interested or not! Hell most of us know as soon as we lay eyes on them! If after the firyoudate you know he makes you feel nothing… leave him go find someone that will get butterflies when he talks to her!

    Guys…. im not even going to start on them right now! But we have to start somewhere! Everyone wants to find love… let’s focus on helping the process along by being honest! :) happy dating people!

    • October 11, 2012 at 1:28 am, david said:

      i want to be by sexy women

  2. October 18, 2011 at 5:02 pm, adam said:

    Hi Kim the props is I think the girl likes some one else so now wat I do. My mate said I should ask her out not sure get back to me plz

    • April 07, 2013 at 8:17 am, Anjilyn said:

      > Hey Adam, Anjilyn here, you wrote, “…the props is I think the girl likes some one else so now wat I do. My mate said I should ask her out not sure get back to me plz” Now I don’t know if you ever got an answer to your question or not, and if you did and it’s totally rediculous for me to be responding to this a year and a half later, just take it as knowledge for the future to put in your back pocket, I mean hey, if it happened once, it could happen again right?

      Find out just how “interested” she is in this other guy…is it just a hopeless crush that will more than likely never happen? Is she dating him? Is he even aware of her existence? This is important for the following reasons: If it is just a hopeless crush that will never actually happen, or if he appears oblivious that she likes him, you can capitalize on that by telling her “he’s a complete idiot not to have realized your worth.” something like that, make her see that he may be blind but your not, and you see her worth. If she is dating the guy however, your out of luck. One of the hardest lessons I have found for some people to learn is that sometimes she just isn’t into you and you need to move on.

  3. November 20, 2011 at 9:38 pm, Bubbi said:

    Appreciation for this

  4. February 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm, Greg said:

    Every time i ask a girl out they say they’ll think about it for weeks but if i keep on about it they usually will say yes so one rule when you date somebody guys and girls BE YOURSELF it never matters about the looks its about whats inside you and whats your personality find someone that is just like that then your all good

  5. March 03, 2012 at 9:52 pm, hakeem said:

    i have a crush on a girl called phobe shes so sweet i totoly fancy her but evry time i ask hure out she says no no no no no way

  6. May 21, 2012 at 10:52 am, nick said:

    i like this girl named keara and she likes to flirt with all the boys in class but sometimes she flirts to much and i get a little jealous… please help me, I dont know what to do

  7. June 08, 2012 at 6:48 am, Henry said:

    i like a girl named Zali but i get too nervous when try to ask her out

    • April 07, 2013 at 8:24 am, Anjilyn said:

      > Try practicing on a girl who is a friend, she can let you know when your going off the rails or your on the right track. And practicing anything enough times can start to make you more confident. Here’s a really out there method. Try asking out other girls that don’t intimidate you so much, it will help you build your confidence, smooth out your style, and help you understand girls a bit more than you do now. Then when you feel ready, go for the main event, and ask “The One”.

  8. June 08, 2012 at 6:52 am, Henry said:

    plz help me

  9. July 09, 2012 at 2:37 am, Abram said:

    To Henry. You gotta man up and ask her and not be afraid of what she’ll say. If she says no just be like “Oh its cool, maybe some other time” then smile and walk away not angry or mad. Just be confident. I tried to go out with the girl I liked and she said yes right away. Confidence is the key.

  10. September 18, 2012 at 1:32 am, adam1 said:

    I agree with everything you said, but you are just scratching the surface by saying be confident. Most guys know what it means but they don’t know how to do it. I think it should be said that most guys need to work on who they are as men, so they can build up the confidence to ask a girl out.

  11. October 29, 2012 at 2:19 pm, Edward Hill said:

    Women playing games can hurt everyone,but it has been going on for so long we just go along with it.When a man ask a woman out on a date and she says no but she really wants to go out with the man,but she is playing that game and when that man moves on and ask another girl out the first girl is hurt because she really did like that man but some men will not play the game
    So be careful girls when you say no because you are the game.

    • October 30, 2012 at 5:02 am, Elizabeth Marie said:

      Yep…honesty really is the best policy! :)

  12. February 08, 2013 at 4:23 am, Kevin said:

    In middle school, I like this girl name Julia. I’ve been really shy when it’s talking to her. I do want to tell her I like her, but if some students heard what I said to her, they would spread the rumor almost instantly.

  13. February 26, 2013 at 12:44 pm, Samantha said:

    I do agree that confidence is very critical when asking a girl out on a date. You may read more about how to ask a girl out and always get a yes at http://www.howtodate.org/how-to-ask-a-girl-out-and-always-get-a-yes


  14. May 04, 2013 at 5:00 am, verseddeal850.livejournal.com said:

    I am truly delighted to read this web site posts which contains tons of helpful facts, thanks for providing these information.

  15. July 31, 2013 at 5:42 pm, Kirk said:

    The first thing to do before you ask a girl out is to build your confidence. Next step is to be yourself. Most girls have this ability to tell if you are being real or fake. That’s it in a nutshell.

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