15 Things They Should Teach You in Sex Ed
By: Simone Paget |
Most of us probably remember learning about the birds and the bees in school. However, there’s only so much you can learn about sex in a classroom. The majority of sexual education takes place in “the field”, through actual personal experience. Here’s a few things that most people only learn by doing the deed:
1. Missionary isn’t the only position. Although I never would have guessed this based on my first few sexual encounters as a young adult, there are tons of different positions to try. If one doesn’t do it for you – try another. Eventually you’ll find something that works amazing for you & your partner. In the meantime, have fun exploring!
2. Whatever you’re into is OK. We all have our individual sexual tastes. Maybe you like the idea of being tied up, are into both genders or enjoy wearing a Wookie costume while you do it (or all of the above!) – as long as it involves consenting adults, it’s OK.
3. Just because you’re into it, doesn’t mean your partner will be. So, you like dressing up as a cop and handcuffing your partner to the bed. Great! However, just because you like something in bed doesn’t necessarily mean the person you’re with will. Communicate openly with the people you sleep with and respect their boundaries.
4. People will say almost anything to get out of wearing a condom. Don’t fall for it! I’ve heard all of the excuses known to man: “they don’t fit me properly” or “I’ll feel closer to you without one” – all of them are rubbish.There’s never a good excuse not to wear a condom – especially when you’re dating casually! Real men wrap it up 🙂
5. If you don’t feel comfortable, speak up! If something makes you uncomfortable, is painful or just isn’t doing it for you – say something! Your partner isn’t going to know how to please you if you don’t communicate about what does and doesn’t feel good.
6. Sex is only dirty…. if it’s done right! There’s nothing bad or shameful about having sex or exploring our bodies. Humans are sexual creatures – embrace it.
7. Surprises happen. Unexpected sounds, fluids, periods, body farts – the list goes on. All sorts of things can happen when two people get naked together. However, just because these things happen doesn’t mean you have to let them ruin your night or your relationship. Deal with it the most mature way possible: by being understanding and if possible, laughing it off.
8. Water sports. If someone asks you if you’re into “water sports” most likely they are not inquiring about that time you were on the Varsity swim team.
9. Sex isn’t always between just two people. Some people have more fun in threes, fours, or more! There’s nothing wrong with making sex a group activity as long as you trust the people you’re with and play safe.
10. You don’t have to be in a relationship to have sex. Sex and relationships aren’t mutually exclusive. If casual encounters or a “friends with benefits” relationship works better for you, there’s nothing wrong with that as long as you trust and respect the people you’re getting sexy with.
11. Sometimes casual sex can lead to feelings. Some people have a hard time being intimate with someone without developing an emotional attachment to them. Be mindful of this and always treat the people you date casually with respect.
12. You don’t have to physically have sex to have a sexual experience. There are so many sexy things you can do without penetration. Phone sex, dirty text message marathons, skype sex, mutual masturbation, oral sex…and the list goes on!
13. Boob sex. It happens. While we’re on the topic on non-penetrative sex, hand-jobs and blow-jobs aren’t your only options. Some guys really love some good boob sex. Grab some lube and have fun seeing what other parts of your body can get him off.
14. Porn can enhance a sexual experience but it shouldn’t be used as a “how-to” guide. Watching a dirty movie together can definitely be sexy and get things going in the bedroom, however just keep in mind that porn is essentially not real. Not every woman wants a man to pound away on her like a jackrabbit on meth nor, should she feel compelled to make sounds like this is what’s happening. In other words, tune in to what your partner is into and be yourself.
15. Thou shall not “dick slap” your partner. Unless they ask you to. Being hit in the face by an erect penis moving at 15 miles an hour hurts and may cause bruising. Also this isn’t the kind of thing that anyone wants to have to explain at the office the next day.
What’s something you’ve learned from having sex?