July 1st, 2013 by Jess Downey

Can Couples Share Too Much?

1164099_84971798So I’ve noticed a trend with couples lately. And it’s not something that’s just been happening lately, it’s something that I’ve noticed a lot over time. What am I talking about? Couples sharing Facebook, cell phones, email addresses, etc.

Now, it’s one thing if you have a joint account. I can totally understand that sometimes it’s easier to have one account for family updates or whatever. But I still say that each person should have a separate account for their own personal purposes or at least a separate way to contact others. It’s also one thing when some one’s boyfriend/husband/whatever uses their cell phone to make a phone call because theirs is dead or they can’t find it or whatever. But, again, you both still have your own personal cell phone.

So, clearly these are not the instances that I am talking about. I am talking about when I call a friend and leave a message and she gets the message because her boyfriend gets it and then relays it to her. And, even worse when she doesn’t get it because her boyfriend never told her.

Seriously, when did this become okay?

Here’s the thing, if I send a message to my friend then that’s who the message is intended for. If I wanted to tell your significant other then I would call him/her and tell him/her. Pretty simple.

I get that people want to share things with their significant others and I get that you don’t want to have secrets and all that. But, sharing and secrets only pertain to the people that are dating. It does not extend to friendships. After all, you are the one that is dating them (or married to them) not me.

And don’t get me wrong here. I am not saying that their significant other isn’t allowed to know things about me. It’s just that when I send something to my friend then it’s intended for my friend. Maybe I didn’t want her boyfriend to know I was stood up or that I had sex in the bathroom of a bar.

I also think it changes the relationship that I have with my friend because I kind of think it kills the trust. I mean, if you leave your friend a message and have no idea if she will read it or if someone else will then how are you supposed to trust that person?

The bottom line is that I believe friendships are important and sacred. And, to me, if your boyfriend is reading my messages or listening to my voicemails then that kind of kills that whole sacred thing.

What about all of you, does it bother you when your friends share their accounts with their significant other?


Jess is a freelance writer and online columnist living in New York City. She recently got engaged to the man of her dreams (whom she met online, of course!) and is always eager to share her online dating tips with the world.

One Response to “Can Couples Share Too Much?”

  1. July 01, 2013 at 6:23 pm, Suzanne said:

    My friends do not share cell phones. That would be really annoying and weird. Like you said, the message is for my friend, not her BF. He doesn’t need to know my business. ;)

    I do have a lot of married friends with join email accounts. I don’t know how that works. Does the spouse see it’s an email from me and not open it? Does he let his wife know it’s there?

    It seems to work for them. But I’d never do it with my BF. What’s his is his and what’s mine is definitely mine!


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