Dating & Relationship Blog

June 26th, 2013 by Jess Downey

When All His Friends Are Single

308922_6303I can remember a few years ago when I starting dating a new guy. I actually met him just before I was about to move three hours away. We tried to be casual, but really cared for each other so we decided to do the distance thing for a while. It ended up failing pretty miserably. I always felt one of the reasons was because of the fact that all of his friends were single. They used to complain if he was on the phone with me or wanted to visit. So I kind of always wondered if any of that had anything to do with the reason why we didn’t make it as a couple.

After some time passed and I grew up a little, I realized that his friends probably didn’t have anything to do with our relationship crashing and burning. Sure, I think sometimes when all your friends are single it might seem like it would be better to be unattached and that might make you question things with your new interest.  But I honestly think that if you meet someone who really interests you, those feelings and desire to be with that person overrides all the questions and concerns.

Side note: I’m not saying that singles and those that are attached can’t be friends or anything – it’s more that it’s an adjustment period and that can be a little difficult.  I also think you have times where you remember those fun single moments and think about them fondly.

I believe in my case, this guy just didn’t really want to be with me. Maybe his friends helped speed up the process or made it easier to end things or maybe it was the distance, but regardless he made the decision to no longer date me.

And that’s the important thing to remember — if someone truly cares for you they won’t let their friends come in between all that. They won’t listen if their friends say things like “it’s better to be single” or “you’re wasting time on the phone with that girl.” They won’t be jealous if their friends going out and taking advantage of singledom. They also won’t be that sad if they have to visit you or spend time with you instead of going out with their friends.

Now, there’s also the question about whether this guy with all the single friends will be looking for a relationship. It’s my personal opinion that people don’t have to be looking for a relationship in order to be in one. They really just have to be open to the idea. And, honestly, I think that a guy with all single friends can be just as open to the possibilities as a guy who only has friends who are shacking up with each other.

I think the biggest thing here is to remember to keep an open mind. Don’t be quick to judge and automatically assume something based solely on his group of friends. Go out on a few dates. Get to know him. In time you’ll see what he’s all about.

 

Jess is a freelance writer and online columnist living in New York City. She recently got engaged to the man of her dreams (whom she met online, of course!) and is always eager to share her online dating tips with the world.

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