June 27th, 2013 by Len Cruz

What To Do If Your Man’s Mother Hates You

When you enter into a serious relationship that is headed towards marriage, it’s not just a lifetime commitment for two; it is a lifetime commitment for a whole bunch of people, including your man’s mom. Whether you like it or not, your future mother-in-law will be a part of your married life. Cue Jaws theme song. Why is this so important?

Well, take this for starters: One out of ten married couples in Britain separate because of in-law problems according to the study done by The Co-operative Legal Services. Eleven percent out of the 2,000 couples surveyed cites in-laws’ meddling to the breakdown of their marriages.

If there is tension brewing between you and your guy’s mom, it’s best to do whatever you can to repair the relationship. Here are six common issues women run into with their man’s mom and how to deal with them.

1. She’s overly competitive

She treats your relationship to her son like a highly charged Olympic marathon; the survival of the fittest, or in her case, the bitchiest. She constantly competes for her son’s attention whenever she can and goes out of her way to make it happen with complete disregard for your feelings.

Your move: No matter how much you want to, do not compete with her. Again, do not compete with her. This way, she’ll figure out that you’re not a threat to their special bond.  Assess the reason for her actions and stretch your level of understanding.

2. She compares

“Angela doesn’t look as curvy as you when she wears something like that”. Boom! There it is! Subtle rancor. Never mind that her favorite ex-daughter-in-law, Angela, is a harlot who divorced her son to elope with their kid’s swimming coach. She compares you to her, to her son’s ex, to practically everybody.

Your move: Charm your way into her heart by doing the things that she likes. If she still continues to do this, then, take comfort in knowing that you did your best. No regrets.

3. She belittles you

Whatever you do, no matter how you try and how much you have achieved, she still treats you like a low-life citizen. Could it be that her bar is raised so high that even God cannot fulfill it? Maybe.

Your move: Analyze why she does this and continue to be cordial. Be confident enough in what you have achieved in your life. In terms of personal accomplishments, your approval will be the only thing that matters.

4. She shamelessly campaigns for the demise of your relationship

She bluntly tells his son to end his relationship with you. When his son refuses, she turns to you! She would regularly talk to you and reason out with you as  to why you and her son don’t belong together.

Your move: Tell her why you do belong together. This mindset of hers is based on the negative side of  both you and your fiancé personalities, so tell her the opposite. Emphasize the positive facts that  make you and your fiancé a power couple.

5. She backbites

She tells every member of her family about the things that she hates about you, imaginary or otherwise. She adds in a little more spice to strengthen her claim and make you look like the fiancée from hell. The bad news is they believe her.

Your move: The solution is simple –  “Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly of you, no one would believe it.” There’s no need to explain.

6. She’s dependent on her son

It is especially stressful when your future mother-in-law is financially and emotionally dependent on your fiancé.  This almost always guarantees continuous  meddling from her. Expect constant phone calls, unannounced visits and “you don’t love me anymore” drama from her.

Your move: The solution for this depends on your willingness to accept the situation. It will also depend on how much you love your fiancé. Talk to your future MIL and make an effort to befriend her. If you’re not comfortable with the situation, try setting some rules that will be a win-win situation for the three of you.

Have you ever had an issue with a significant others parent?


Len is the delusional brains behind the lifestyle, parenting, and fashion site: www.themommist.com. She believes that words are meaningless unless they are used for the good kind of change.

2 Responses to “What To Do If Your Man’s Mother Hates You”

  1. June 01, 2014 at 10:00 pm, zama said:

    My mother in law is always asking for money and she also want to be taken evey where.

  2. June 03, 2014 at 12:27 am, taylor said:

    Okay so I’ve been with this guy for 7 months now and she found out I was a little younger than her son and this woman has put so much pain inside me and in my family she’s accused me countless times she has called me a name all of that harsh things and if I go anywhere with my boyfriend anywhere she throws a big fit if it’s around any other family members of his family she has made my mom cry me cry i go through countless nights of crying myself to sleep because of all the pain and I can’t com front her because she won’t let me nowhere near her or her family i don’t know what to do ….

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