June 14th, 2013 by Jess Downey
Love Online: Can It Happen?
Online dating can be hard. You sit at your computer and go through dozens of profiles to find a person you want to meet. Then, when you do actually meet sometimes there is no chemistry or the person isn’t who you thought they’d be. It also gets a bad rap because there is this impression that people often use the internet just to find hook ups. So is it really possible to find a person you want to be with long term on a dating site? And can you find love online?
Part of the problem with online dating is that people have unrealistic expectations. They go into it thinking they will find the man (or woman) of their dreams just because they joined the latest awesome dating site. However, I don’t think that being online makes it any easier to meet that person; it just makes it easier to meet people. The fact of the matter is that you still have to meet the person that is right for you which will probably take some time.
I also think it’s far too common to misplace the blame when it comes to online dating. It’s pretty easy to hear about all the bad stories and say “oh the internet is bad because of guys and/or women like that” but the fact of the matter is the internet isn’t responsible for a guy and/or woman being like that, he and/or she is.
It’s also a common misconception that people who are just looking to shack up go on the internet because it’s an easy way to meet people. But, that doesn’t mean that every person online is like that and I don’t think it’s fair to assume that.
You have to keep in mind that you’re still meeting human beings and we are complicated creatures. Unfortunately, even though you’re on a dating site that doesn’t mean that every single person you meet is looking for a long term relationship. You are going to meet people online that are just looking for a good time or who don’t want to settle down because they have 999 other options.
The bottom line is that I genuinely believe you can meet someone really great online. And I am not just saying that because I met my fiancé on an online dating site (though I think that helps my case a little). You will probably meet a few douche bags along the way. I am not arguing with that at all. However, you can meet douche bags anywhere. In fact some of my worst dates have been with guys that I have met in places other than the internet.
You will also probably get a little frustrated along the way. But then again whoever said dating (or anything in life for that matter) would be easy? If you are going to date then you have to deal with the bad and that’s the simple truth. Dating on the interwebs isn’t for everyone so if it’s not for you then don’t do it. If it’s pushing you to the point of insanity then take a little break from it for a while, a lot of people do.
Just always keep in mind that you should be realistic and just because you are using an online dating site doesn’t mean the man or woman of your dreams will magically appear all packaged and pretty in your inbox. It still takes a lot of work.
And of course, remember to have a little faith. Because no matter how frustrating it seems there is someone really awesome out there somewhere (at least that’s what I tell myself, preferably with a lot of vodka).