June 12th, 2013 by Jess Downey

Seven Reasons Why I Hate Coffee Dates

352882_9221Before my fiancé put a ring on it I was an avid online dater and that led me to going on all kinds of first dates. I’ve been to bars, restaurants, the parks, the movies, and so on. I’ve even just wandered around parts of Chicago and NYC. But there is one common date spot that I’ve found I just can’t get into. And that would be the coffee date. Here are seven reasons why.

The atmosphere

Honestly, coffee shops just feel weird for dates. Sure, if you’re in a big city like New York they tend to be a little more trendy and fun. But there’s always someone with a laptop typing a paper or reading or trying to concentrate or something. I need to be in a place where I can be myself. Where I can talk and laugh at all kinds of volumes and not have to worry about disturbing someone.

I like a little alcohol

I will be honest – I like to have a drink or two on dates; especially if it’s a first date. It just kind of calms your nerves a little. And drinking is something I enjoy doing with the person I am with so it’s a problem if someone never wants to drink.

They’re early in the day

Coffee dates kind of have that early afternoon feel. I like dates at night. I don’t know why this is. Nighttime just feels more date-like.

Or they just feel plain weird at night

I once went on a coffee date at night. Seriously, the only people there are students working on some kind of school work. It just didn’t feel like a date to me.

It’s hard to stay if you’re feeling it

Every time I am in a coffee shop, I feel like there is some dude waiting to plug in his laptop or I can’t find a seat because that same dude already found a place and plans on sticking around for 12 hours or so. Bars provide the kind of atmosphere where you can set up shop for a while if you choose. There’s also usually the option of food or some kind of entertainment that make it easy to suggest staying a little longer.

It’s too calm and quiet

I’m not saying you should go to some place loud (in fact, you shouldn’t), but I like to have some background noise so I don’t feel like we are the only ones talking. Or so I am not too worried about everyone else listening in on the conversation.

There’s no entertainment

I know, I know. Your date should be your entertainment and I totally agree with that. However, there’s something to be said about a friendly game of air hockey. It also creates awesome date conversation when a song comes on or you notice something on the TV. Coffee shops just don’t have that.

At the end of the date, I am not saying coffee dates are awful. I am just saying they don’t work for me. I also know that half of this stuff is probably just in my head and me worrying about crazy things that don’t really happen. But the best dates always happen when you’re comfortable so you should choose a place that makes you feel that way. And coffee dates just don’t do that for me.

How do you feel about coffee dates?

 

Jess is a freelance writer and online columnist living in New York City. She recently got engaged to the man of her dreams (whom she met online, of course!) and is always eager to share her online dating tips with the world.

2 Responses to “Seven Reasons Why I Hate Coffee Dates”

  1. June 12, 2013 at 10:53 am, Jenny said:

    I hate coffee dates too! I don’t mind a lunch date, in fact they can be good if you aren’t sure about somebody and don’t want to commit a whole evening. But I agree, there’s something about coffee shops that feels rushed and the wrong kind of busy.

    Reply

    • June 12, 2013 at 3:55 pm, Jess Downey said:

      > Exactly! They are so rushed and busy. I am so glad I am not the only one who feels this way (I honestly was afraid I was). And I also agree that lunch dates can be nice. They also provide an easy going and kind of casual feeling.

      Reply

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