May 27th, 2013 by Jess Downey

Seven Reasons a Woman Should Always Offer to Pay on the First Date

1361618_19944881The debate on who should pay for the first date is always a good one. Some say the guy should always pay. Some say the check should be split. Some say whoever asks should pay. And I think sometimes the rules about this thing can kind of get in the way of actually having fun on the date. So I tend to believe there is no right or wrong answer. However, there is one rule that I have always stood by – a woman should always offer to pay on the first date. Here are seven reasons why.

It’s 2013

I hate to pull the women’s lib card here or talk about how far we have come as a society, but it’s actually true. We fight so much to be equal and want people to look as us the same that it only makes sense to at least offer to pay.

Dating is expensive

I’m not saying you should feel sorry for a guy who goes on four dates a week or anything. I’m just saying dating can be a little pricey; especially if you’re in a big city. Even a couple of drinks per person can run you $40-$50.

It’s a nice gesture

Most guys I know are genuinely charmed by a gal who offers to throw in some bucks for her share of the bill. And if you’re into him, being charming is always a great thing.

It shows you’re not just on the date to get stuff

I am not out to accuse anyone but let’s face it, there are plenty of ladies out there who go on dates just to get a night on the town. Offering pay shows you genuinely wanted to meet the guy.

It’s only a first date

This is the first time you’re going out and, in some cases, the first time you have ever met in person so it could totally bomb or you might not be interested. It’s a little unfair to expect a guy to foot the bill when you know you’ll never see him again.

You might make more than him

I hate to throw this out there too, but we are no longer living in a world where a guy automatically makes more than a woman. Obviously this isn’t something you’d know on a first date and you should never make an issue out of how lucrative your salary is. But nevertheless it’s wrong to assume he makes more than you.

It opens the door for a second date

If you’re interested and if he declines to let you pay you can say something like “I’ll treat next time.” And that’s a great way to let him know you’re up for seeing him again.

Jess is a freelance writer and online columnist living in New York City. She recently got engaged to the man of her dreams (whom she met online, of course!) and is always eager to share her online dating tips with the world.

3 Responses to “Seven Reasons a Woman Should Always Offer to Pay on the First Date”

  1. May 28, 2013 at 11:50 pm, Trix said:

    Um, actually, women do still make significantly less than their male counterparts. Obviously, individuals who work in different industries may have varying salaries, but your declarative statement about the world we live in is far from factual.

    • May 29, 2013 at 1:23 am, Jess Downey said:

      I wasn’t saying we live in a world where all women make more than men. I know that’s not the case at all. But men aren’t the only ones with lucrative careers — women have them too. You might also be further along in your career or he could be in grad school. I’ve known many couples where the woman makes more. And has made more since they started dating. So it’s not safe to say he’s a man and therefore makes more.

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